My Friend Richard

Richard probaly knows my spirit better than anyone else on Planet Earth.   When I was in the Army, he was my Major; he is still my Major.  Richard chewed more ass off of me for fucking up than anyone else I’ve ever known.  Even when I didn’t think I was fucking up, Richard made a point to let me know that I was ‘screwing the pooch’.  He makes comments occassionally about things that only he and I and Mary (wife ) knows about.  The comments are quite funny at times, and quite challenging at other times. 

Richard is a Police Chief.  When i was applying for cop jobs,  I was asked, "Oh…so you know a Police Chief?!"  Yes I did.    When I graduated from the Police  Academy,  Richard pinned the badge on my chest.   I wouldn’t have it any other way.  He is my Major.  He will forever be my Major. 

I remember one of the worst nights of my life…my front teeth are fake  as the result of an auto accident.  Tara and i were about to go to Richards place in Tucson for a BBQ when I chewed on a piece of liqourish and a front tooth came off.  I covered my teeth all night, then I got drunk and smiled.  Richard said, "WHAT IN THE HELL?!  CAN YOU SMILE AGAIN?!"   Everyone began laughing…including me! 

 Richard called me one day and told me that he was going to sell his house in Tucson.    He wanted to plant some trees and landscape the backyard.  As we drank more and more beers, the  depth of the trees became more and more shallow.  haha!  By the time we finished, I think we  actually owed the trees depth!

I will forever remember when Richard chewed my ass about being Paul Revere.  I did what I thought was right.  My platoon seargeant   came to my gate and  asked, " What in the fuck did you do?!   Major <name> wants to talk to you!!"  When we went into the Major’s office, he was sitting behind a desk  with one leg propped  up  on  an open drawer.  He asked, "Who in the fuck are you?  Paul Fucking Revere?"  I saluted him, but he didn’t dismiss it in the fashion as one would expect.  he kept the leg on  the open drawer.  Then a thought ran through my mind…

When Richard (Military Police Sheriff) took command of the local MP Company, he was replacing a broke dick Major.  Some Colonel went to him and said, "Here is a ticket I received from one of your MP ‘s.  I want it fixed."  My Major said, "There is something you need to know…there is a new Sheriff in town. "  That is Richard.   He is stubborn, and he is a rock.  He is everything I want to be. 

I remember when  Richard ordered ‘Ai Carumba’  hot sauce on the internet.  He and I  actually sweated while we were eating the wings. 

When I was clocked on my Kawasaki Ninja at 105/45mph zone, I went to Richards house.  I told him that  i screwd the pooch.  Richard’s response?  "I’ll call the First Sergeant tomorrow.’  Turned out that Major <name> and the  First Sergeant served together before in Panama.  Althought the First Sergeant is dead from cancer, Richard always says  ‘The First Sergeant’ when he refers to  him…a great sign of respect. 

I remember when Richard was about to leave Italy.  There was a fare well party for him right after he received his orders for Ft. Huacuca, AZ.; this was the same day I received my orders ordering me to Ft. Huachuca.  I went to his party and presented him with a copy of my orders.  I said, "You can’t get away from me!"  He laughed, then re-read the orders.  I’m sure in his mind he thought – MY GOD!  I can’t get away from this beast!! haha! 

I will always remember when some  MP’s placed a maniquen in the middle of the PX parking lot on a Saturday night.   On sunday?  Even though I had NOTHING  to do with the event, Major <name> said, "Get me <last name> Randy!  While I got my ass chewed, I never gave up the true perpetrators.  

I used to bust his kids when they would go swimming  in the post pool.  Years later I would hang out with Dustin and secretlly wooh Heidi. 

Richard is my Major.  He is my friend.  He has been my father figure for a long time, though he doesn’t know it.   I thank God for people like him.  And then there is his Mary….