A Lovely Day in Lima

I arrived in Lima Peru late last night.  While on the plane, I was seated next to an old lady who was quite lovely.  I guess she was about 60 or so.  She carried two passports; one from the U.S., the other from Peru.  As my close friends know, I enjoy interacting with some people but become quite irritated with most I encounter; this was not the case with the old lady. 

Being an addict of the T.V. program ’24’ and having just purchased a ‘boot leg’ copy of the fifth season while in Thailand, I was quite engrossed with my portable DVD player and the events of Jack Bauer.  I noted that the old lady spilled her coke everwhere but on me…which was a good thing because I normally don’t feel compelled to commit assault on the elderly.  Having been suffering from allergies do to extreme climate changes over the past month, I had a handful of tissues and assisted her by giving her all of my tissues.  She said, "You are SO kind!"  I really pleased her when I retrieved a ‘wet wipe’ from my bag and gave it to her.  She left me alone for most of the flight, which was cool since I tend to become quite iritated with both traveling and people.  Prior to getting off the plane, she told me that she had been married to a Texan.  I initially didn’t like to hear that due to the fact that George W. is a Texan and, being human, | naturally associate all Texans with both George and Oprah’s lawsuit. 

The extremely kind lady told me that her husband died in 2000, that he had been an underwater welder, and  that she has no offspring.  She asked me about my travels, and we exchanged stories.  She asked me for an ink pen and wrote down her mobile number and address.  She said that both me and my lady friend are welcome to spend some time with her at her beach house.  This was my first experience with Peruvians…and it only got better…

I must admit that I was quite pissed when my bag was quite possibly the last one off loaded from the plane.  After I got off the plane, I hauled ass and beat every other human to the customs line and was quite pleased with both my speed and negotion through the crowd; I was the first to enter into the customs line; then I waited for more than two hours for my backpack. 

As I stood and waited, I observed the locals.  I was amazed at how friendly and helpful people were towards each other.  Assisting each other with bags and bag handling…then I noriced the woman; she is quite possibly the loviliest woman my eyes have ever taken in.  I saw an older man standing behind her while glaring at me as I appreciated her beauty.  I later noted that they were together.   I thought – freeking perv!  Through conversation, I discovered that he wasn’t a perv…he was her father, which made ME the perv!  haha! 

Let me ‘back track’ for a bit…I have been ‘drawing’ the shittiest seat on every aircraft since I have been on holiday.  On the flght from DCA to MIA, I once again had the window seat, which I don’t really care for.  The luck of the draw resulted in me being seated next to a very lovely woman named ‘Sara’.  After I sat, I told her, "I have been traveling around the world for the past four days.  This is the FIRST time I have been seated next to a lovely woman."  She and I spend the next four hours of our lives talking about life and travels…quit a lovely lass.

When I arrived at the hotel, the time was a bit past midnight.  I discovered that the city shuts down at 1200, which is 0001hrs.  I was hungry as hell but couldn’t find food.  I figured that beer is technically food so I ordered loads of it and drank it as I watched a movie.    I felt both nourished and entertained from both the beer and the movie I watched. 

When I awoke this morning I got in a cab and told the driver to take me into the heart of Lima.  Turns out that he dumped me in a pretty rough neighborhood.   Shortly after getting out of the cab, I was attacked by a Pittbull sort of dog; the dog is dead.   I have scratch marks on my legs and torso and a bite on my left arm but at least the fucker won’t ever again attack white meat. 

After getting my ass handed to me by a canine, I reported for medicinal treatment at a local pub.  The wife of the owner of the joint wiped salve on my wounds as I  ingested suggested intoxicants recommended by her husband.  When I was leaving, I noted six women clad in nurses outfits.  They began chatting me up and suggested that we go to a local  disco.  The bar owner said, "Don’t keep your money in your pocket….hide it…they will probably try and take it…"  I followed his advice. 

It turned out that all of the women are health workers at a local hospital.  After we had several drinks, they invited me to dance with them so I did.   I have no idea how these women are able to more  their shoulders, hips, knees, and feeet in different directions at the same time…it was amazing.  They ‘schoold’ me in how to daance Peruvian style.  while we were dancing, one of the girls went to the D.J. and told him that I’m Italian.  He made an announcement over the speakers announcing that I’m a guest from Italy; my money was no longer good.  People in the place kept calling me "Italia" and continually purchased me drinks.  The men all asked me over and over which team I like for ‘football’, and I said the first Italian city that came to mine:  Milano.  haha!

As I mentioned before, I speak Italian which is very close to Spanish.  I must say that I am always quite impressed with my gift of gad when it comes to languages.   We were able to communicate all day long.  Four of the girls left, which only left me with three.  We stopped at three discos as one of the girls took care of some business.  It turned out that she was making arrangements with various discos for her sister’s Bday tomorrow.  We returned to my hotel and they waited for me in the restaurant while I retrived my camera from my room.  We had a few more drinks in the restaurant , took loads of photos, then they left. 

I  have been warned over and over by locals about the crime in this city, but I have had a very lovely day.  | have made new friends, I learrned the local customs, and I was able to practice my Spanish.  Quite a lovely day….