Sex (and thats only one half of the syory)

ok, i kno your expecting me to talk about sex and i might. but really i just wanted to get somethings of my mind and chest. most people dont kno this about me and its been weighin on me. so here it goes.

as i told you before, i dont trust, share, or open up with people very well. due to that fact, i hide most of my true thoughts and feelings from people.

THIS IS WHAT I DO…

i got through what i call stages…

stage 1- the "introduction" stage- this is where we exchange the basic information (i.e. name, age, birthdate, syblings, etc.)

stage 2- the "facts and interest" stage- this is the stage where i ask your likes, dislikes, favorites and things of that nature. as well as discuss why those are your likes and things.

this is where things get tricky… the next stage (and for some people the final stage) is all deecided by you.

stage 3- the "what are we" stage- this is the stage where you decide wheather i am a friend, love, lover, or whatever. this is the stage where i let you choose what we talk about.

this is the stage i wanna talk about today… most females seem to wanna choose SEX to talk about. thus letting me know we will never be more than this.
i guess you say its like having sex for.

*tip for you ladies*
the quicker you let a man get in your panties, the quicker he loses respect for you. ever wonder why after you hav sex with him, unless you do it the first night that the relationship changes. well, that may have something to do with it.
anyway, back to why i wrote this post. for most of the females in my life, they wonder why i dont or share with them and just sit on the phone and breath, then get off the phone when they have nothing to talk about. its because i allow them to dictate the type of and nature of the relationship we have. (with the exception of a few special people… one of whom is the reason i’m even on OD. she knows who she is).

this is causing problems in my life, because all the poeple i would talk to about stuff are leaving or gone from my life right now. the only people left are the ones that at stage 3 chose sex over friendship. but now they’re looking for friendship and i cant do it. once i’ve made up my mind about you or our relationship, its very hard for me to change my mind. i guess you could say thats the Aries in me, even though i dont really read into that kinda stuff unless osmeone directs me to.

so, now i’m stuck as wat to do. do i keep things the way they are hoping some of those people come back or a find new people. or do i open up to these i wish not to. or so i simply move on with my life and say bump it and do wat i do best… BE ALONE. i do thank my OD friends (i almost wanted to call you family, but i still dont kno you all that well yet)tho, because this is becoming a great outlet. i’ve written more in here in the past week than i did all last year.

this all sucks, because there are times when i want someone to talk to and share with, but most of the time those people are no where to be found. i mean, dont get me wrong. i like talkin about sex. I LOVE SEX!!!, i just want to be able to have a healthy balance of both. is that too much to ask for?

rotted_dreams

February 21, 2007

I sorta understand how you feel, because i have friends, that are some of my BEST friends and i dont even feel comfortable talking to them about a lot of things. Im going to tell you something about girls, we will always want what we cant have, especially if what we cant have is something we would have desired anyways. It sounds like girls tend to like you, but you are kinda unavailable…

that just makes girls want you more. you get what i mean? So in general, they will always choose a relationship with you over being your friend, because they like you. And when girls have sex with a guy, its normally because we want you to stick around, which is EXACTLY the opposite of what happens…but you know. okay…one more thing, OD is a great outlet…keep writing entries. alright im done.

Heavens ~Dew~

Hmm, this is a very odd entry and no I wasn’t expecting this at all … *shrugs*

.find your love.

omg so true! your entry! i just did a stupid mistake last night. my guy wanted to see me last night he called me up and i have not seen him like almost a month it’s going to be and all of a sudden he wants to see. thing is, we been separated cause things got busy for us but i had talked to him on phone before he said he saw me as friend and not looking for relationship…

that he’s not getting along with females and i was confused. i’ve been wanting a relationship to begin with in the beginning and he told me, too he wanted that, too in beginning so i was like you want to start slow and he said ok that it’s not like we’re never going to hang out each other and it’s been a long time that he hasn’t called liked this and just say to me he wants to see me.

so when he stopped calling me and i wouldn’t call him because i wanted him to get use to calling me all the time like before in our relationship in the beginning. he would text me only little bit. but it be rare. all that time i felt like it’s not going to happen with us anymore so i started to move on – tried. he calls me last night and asks to see me.

he tries to kiss me right away! i pushed back and he was shocked. i was got turned off like what the hell i hadn’t seen him in like almost month and he tries to kiss me like whatever! like we have been kissing each other for some time now! he figured that maybe i was seeing someone else and i asked him if it mattered to him if i was and he said yes it did.

i guess kind of like he wanted me to be his hoe! and i regret kissing him and giving him blow and finger cause i eventually gave in. i felt like slut the next day today like that feeling of not looking forward to anything now. so stupid i was. i didn’t want this to happen. i didn’t want to kiss him but he pressured me to do it and i could have said just drop me off home.

i asked him the questions are we friends straight up or friends with benefits and he gave that smile or want to be in a relationship or just want to see how it goes? he picked the last one. figures, he not want anything serious i guess and he’ll just take whatever comes his way with me. it was really weird when he said we’ll go to the movies which i believed but i’ll see if it true.

cause really our relationship has been a sexual relationship like about sex. i kissed him and we had sex the first time, too – i’m stupid thinking back if he was like that before, he did it to me again last night except that we didn’t have sex. he got what he wanted from me. and stupid thing we girls think if we give in to him we think so he won’t mess around anybody else and he stays.

not true, it’s true they lose respect for you and they run away from you. we girls won’t get the best thing we derserve – respect – unless we hoes. now i don’t know what’s going to happen now. what should i do? not kiss him anymore? be at distance?

i’m mexican.

x.hopeless.romantic.x

ryn: welp i already had him? things just got fu<ked up && now theres a restraining order that neither of us want so its just a big mess. = it sucks…

Bette Wells

Aww. I’m not sure how to note this one..

RYN: The first line in this entry says, I know you were expecting me to talk about sex. That is what I meant … I’ll do that …

February 22, 2007

RYN: thank you so much for the advice. you have NO idea how helpful that was. The thing is, i know all of that, its just nice to have someone else tell me, you know? <3333

kissNtell

February 26, 2007

yeah girls have sex with you b/c they want you…and the exact opposite does always happen. i dont undrstand it.