sabotage

is it possible i’m doing this on purpose? 
is it possible that my fear is causing this?
is it possible that my insecurities are hindering me?

am i doing this to myself? is this really my fault? am i sabotaging myself?

love. happiness. peace. prosperity. success. friendship. all elude me. 

is there something i’m dealing with? someone i’m not forgiving? something i need to give up? someone i need to let go of? 

when i was younger i was so driven and passionate, energetic and motivated, creative and idealistic. what happened? where did all of that go? what happened to that guy? 

i am my own worse enemy. i beat myself up constantly. i can’t seem to get out of my own way. maybe i’ve been this way for so long i don’t know how to not be like this.