i just wanted to say…

ok, i got this from some friends. the following is a series of things i would lie to say to some people but either cant or havnt. no names will be disclosed, this is just wats on my heart concerning these poeple.

1. i was going through wat had to be the roughest time in my life. you were the first person to make me laught or smile. and you’ve been making me laugh and smile everysince. you are truly amazing. i owe you my life, because if it was not for you coming along, i probably woulda took my life and would not be here today. you also gave me the encouragement and motivation to make an attempt at college, so i dont think i would be here if it wasnt for you either.
2. i miss you so much. why do i still love you? why do i still think your the one for me sometimes? i just dont get it. you left me. you hurt me. so why do i still wanna love you for eternity? i want my heart back, so i can love again. why do you call me about your new boyfriend? ask my advice and opinion? why? i mean i ‘m glad your in my life and that we’re friends, but dang. if only you knew or could understand. wat am i gonna do with you?
3. i knoe we just met, but you have become so important to me. i even dream about you. i worry about you a lot. i cherich every bit of attention i get from you, like a child getting attention from a parent. how do i get closer to you? how do i make you see just how important you are to me?
4. i remember the first time i held you in my arms. i remember trying to say your name, i still cant even spell it without looking at something with it already on there. i remember waking up several times through the night to feed you and make sure you were ok. i was your mother and father for that first year. thats why they say your my child. i remember people in the neighborhood thinking you were mine i had you so much. UNcle Munk misses you soo much.
5. even tho we hav never met, you hav been a good friend. in fact i could even say the best. i kno we dont talk much anymore and i realize its my fault, but i still love you and thank you so much. you hav no idea how much you mean to me. i kno you think i was helping you, but you were also helping me. you were the first person i opened up to in a long time and the last in a long time. i pray all is well wit you. i will never forget you and will always be here for you, if you need me.
6. i wish i was there with you right now. i wish i could make things better for you. you can make it tho, your strong enough. i have faith and believe in you. i pray God open your eyes and allow you to see who you truly are in him.
7. i dont understand you. i dunno wats goin on or wat happened to us. it was just not o long ago, that i would hear from you all the time and now thats gone. i kno this sounds stupid, but i miss it. i dunno if i did something, or its just the natural progression of life and change. but i still love you, so its all good. just be safe and be good
8. you were my best and closest friend. you told me no one would come between us again. then you go and get married without telling me and i havnt heard from you since. i thought you would always be there for me. i guess i’m destined to be alone. i thought you said we had a bond that would last forever. a bond that could make us a greatcouple and get married. what happened?
9. what are you doin? wat is wrong with you? why’d you do that? why’d you say that? do things really have to be this way? who are you? do you even kno? so wat are you gonna do now? can you fix it? can you change it? will things ever go back to they they were? will things ever be the same? whose to blame? YOU or ME? i dunno
10. i wish i could make you happy. i wish there was something i could do. i just want you to be happy. here’s my heart, take it, you can hav it if it will make you see and understand how much you mean to me, how much your happiness means to me. there is so much i could say, but dont kno how to say it.
11. there is no one in my life like you. no one sees me like you do. no one knows me like you do. so why do i run from you? i try to avoid you and talkin to you. only because i kno wat your gonna say. i could be better and doin better. i could make better decisions and choices. but, i feel like your too good for me and i’m not good enough to even be considered your friend. i feel so worthless and insignificant. why do you even bother with me? i’m a pure waste of your time.
12. it is amazing how everytime we talk you say something that impacts my life in such a profound way. how i never tell you wats goin on or that i’m struggling, but yet you always say something pertaining to my problems. i appreciate you so much. you are the first in a long time of your kind to enter into my life.
13. i think you culd make me happy. i thik we could make each other happy. but watdo i kno. maybe its just all in my head. mayb i’m wrong, but i would the opportunity to try and find out.

i need to go eat. i’ll probably come back and some more. you be good

until then…