Things to Ponder

 Last Monday was hubbie’s and my 24th wedding anniversary.  Wow.  Twenty four years…

What’s more mind blowing for me is realizing that I’ll be having my Silver Wedding Anniversary next year. 

SILVER! 

25 YEARS! 

That’s FOREVER in dog years, you know.

The day was just your everyday, run-of-the-mill, Monday.  I picked hubby up from work, handed him his favorite can of green tea and said, "Happy Anniversary."  He smiled, said, "Oh yeah, that’s today.  Happy Anniversary."  I made him his favorite dinner:  Scalloped Potatoes and Ham with broccoli.  That was pretty much it.  He played on the computer; I watched something on TV. 

Is it weird that it doesn’t really matter that we didn’t do anything special??

If he’s feeling up to it, I think I’ll suggest using those Red Lobster gift cards this Saturday.  That would make up for a slightly dull Monday and we’ll be able to tell everyone we went out for dinner for our anniversary. 

But really, it doesn’t matter.  We’re married, we’re together, we’re happy.  What else is necessary? 

Well, I saw my doctor again.  Now I have to see a cardiologist.  Isn’t that wonderful??

Last Thursday night I was having heart palpitations, couldn’t catch my breath, felt pressure in my neck was sweating profusely – like Niagra Falls profusely.  Pretty scary.  I figured it was probably just a major anxiety attack but when it didn’t go away, I had Liz drive me up to the hospital.  I was given the delightful treat of having a "new" flebotomist try to take blood from me.  She punched right through the vein, not once but TWICE.  Two purple arms later, an EKG (that didn’t show anything) and an in-bed X-ray; and I was told they wanted to keep me over night "just in case" they missed something. 

I said, "Nope, don’t think so." 

I left.

I couldnt’ stay.  I had to get hubby to work the next morning and Liz was with me.  It was midnight.  She couldn’t drive home on a permit and there was no way I was going to let her walk home after dark.  Besides, nothing was showing up on the EKG and my labs all came back normal.

Instead, I went home and called my primary doctor the next day and he saw me yesterday. 

He did a quick EKG and didn’t find anything, either.  But, to be safe, he’s having me see a cardiologist for a stress test. 

That’s good.  I’ve been wanting a stress test done for years.  I’m a HUGE candidate for heart disease: Runs in the family, smoker, obese, apnea, etc… yeah. 

So, if the results of the stress test come back good/normal (here’s hoping), I’ll be setting the appointment for the Ablation surgery on my legs soon after. 

Heh…it’s progress…

sloooooow progress…but…whatever

Oh yeah, smoking…

Well, I’m in the process of trying to quit.  I’ve tried the electronic cigarettes and…well…their not so bad, I suppose.  They take a little getting used to, but the purpose of using them is to eliminate all the other toxins I’m flooding my system with when I smoke real cigarettes.  I’m still getting a dose of nicotine, like I would if I was using the patch or the gum, but it’s one step away from smoking and one step closer to quitting.  What I like about this, is that eventually, I can get the cartriges that have NO nicotine in them.   Then, I’ll just basically be smoking steam.  It’s a psychological thing.  Fool my brain into thinking I’m still smoking when I’m really not.  Eventually, when it’s no longer an issue of chemical addiction, I should be able to quit it all together.  Even if I don’t, without the nicotine, I’m only smoking steam which isn’t any different than breathing in a sauna. 

My goal is to become completely free of cigarettes by this time next year – hopefully within six months– which would be even better.  We’ll see how it goes.  It’s my last ditch option aside from going "cold-turkey", which never really worked for me in the past.  So….here’s hoping.

OH!  GOOD NEWS!

I MAY HAVE FOUND A SCHOOL FOR WESLEY!!

My doctor actually told me about it.  They’re a non-profit charter school that specializes in teaching children with spectral disorders and ADHD.  A lot like the Spectrum school I was looking at but he didn’t qualify for.  They offer a music program, therapeudic martial arts, occupational therapy and small classrooms!   I called them, spoke with the special education director and set up an appointment to meet with her at the school next Monday.  I’m so excited! 

The only draw-back is that they are located two cities away.  He’d have to be bussed to and from school.  🙁

I was prepared to do ECOT with him again this year, but if this place has everything he needs, I may enroll him this fall instead of waiting until next year.  Wesley is going to throw an all-out panic fest when he finds out, but that can’t be helped.  It’s bound to happen.  I’ll take him with me to the appointment so he can see everything first-hand.  It will give him something to think about for a couple of weeks to mentally prepare himself for the change.  It will be scarey for him, I know. 

ECOT is great and it really helped Wesley to overcome his MAJOR hatred for all things "school", but, I can’t do this forever.  My doctor is still of the opinion that once I get my legs taken care of (barring any heart problems – gosh…), I’m going to finally be back on the road to recovery.  If that’s true, I have to seriously start thinking about what I’m going to do to get myself back in shape and in to school. 

And, as great as ECOT is for improving his educational needs, it doesn’t meet his social needs.  He needs to be able to make friends and learn how to interact with his peers.  He spends way too much time being cooped up at home, in his comfort zone, in his safety cacoon, and that’s just not good.  If I don’t force him to adapt to change, I’ll just be encouraging more agoraphobic and anti-social behavior for the future.  Besides, he wants friends.  He’s bored to death.  He’s just afraid.  He loves ECOT but he’s a lonely little boy and that just won’t do. 

I’ll be breaking the news to him this evening.  Who knows, he might even get excited about it.  

Crossing my fingers and saying a prayer or two…or…a hundred…