Monday’s Morons

 Mondays, from now on, will be dedicated to all those unbelievable Morons out there that seem to have the remarkable ability of crossing my path on an almost daily basis.  If you were born stupid or retarded, I excuse you, but there’s no excuse for being a MORON and I’m calling you out on it!  

[By the way, I realize that today is Wednesday, so if that makes me a moron, I guess this is the perfect time for the first posting. ] 

Thank you Mr. Poopy Pants for assuming I was going to turn down the side street simply because there was a sign ahead of me that read, "Road Closed One Mile Ahead."  Did it ever occur to you that perhaps my destination was WITHIN that one mile distance??  I should have T-boned that beautiful black Mustang of yours but I think I may have gotten my point across – as you looked like you might have messed yourself when I laid on the horn and only slightly let up on the gas to make sure I didn’t hit you.  

Next time, think twice before pulling out into oncoming traffic, Moron!

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Hey, Lady Lipstick, ever heard of an alarm clock?  Probably not as it seems that, once again, you’re in a hurry to get to work and just have to make sure you don’t arrive there without all your "face" on.  Wasn’t that a traffic cone you just ran over??  Why, yes it was.  I know this because the darn thing hit my car when it flew up from behind your rear wheel!!  I wonder how important all that makeup will be when they’re scraping your face off of your windshield, or scraping someone else’s face off of yours!

If you must put makeup on, wake up earlier and DO IT AT HOME, Moron!

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Hello Mr. Droopy Drawers, I know you think that wearing your pants down around your knees is a really awesome fashion statement but perhaps it would be a good idea to pull those nasty things up before running down the street with that stolen pack of cigarettes.  Whoops, looks like you didn’t think of that.  I wonder if the dentist can replace the teeth you left embedded in the parking lot pavement… Oh, and by the way, you desperately need to change your underwear because I can see your streaks, MORON!!

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Hope everyone’s having a great day today.  Be happy, be safe and please, watch out for those Morons, they’re everywhere!