Monday’s Morons #2

 Mondays, from now on, will be dedicated to all those unbelievable Morons out there that seem to have the remarkable ability of crossing my path on an almost daily basis.  If you were born stupid or retarded, I excuse you, but there’s no excuse for being a MORON and I’m calling you out on it!   

Hey, Texting Tina, I bet you thought it was a brilliant idea to start texting when you stopped for that red light.  After all, you weren’t driving, right?  Unfortunately, your brilliance burned out when you texted through the green light as well, and didn’t realize this until a couple of moments after the light turned red again.  I hope you have a good job because I think your insurance policy will be going up.  No accident forgiveness for you, Moron!  

 
 

Excuse me Moron-Mom, but, if your child is Hyper active, prone to temper tantrums, is terrified of people in masks, isn’t allowed to eat any candy, doesn’t feel like being dragged around in a sheet with holes poked in it, and refuses to politely knock on a neighbor’s door – instead of trying to kick it in, maybe you should consider not taking them Trick-or-Treating!!!

 
 

Ha-ha-ha, Smashing Sam, I caught you red-handed!!  I know you think that when little children proudly display their carved and glowing pumpkins on their front porch, you see it as an invitation to exercise your heartless mischief by steeling and smashing them in the road.  Little did you know that this Momma stacked some empty cans on the banister and attached a string to them across the porch entry.  Did you pee your pants when all those cans came crashing down?  I’m pretty sure I heard you "yelp."  Yes, I know how to Trick or treat, too, Moron!

I’m sorry, Lurking Larry, that you accidently stuck your privates in the zipper of your pants.  You probably thought I didn’t hear you sneaking up on my front porch and I know you weren’t expecting me to suddenly open the door to shout "BOO!!!"  But you see,  It was 3:00 AM and I don’t appreciate young punks like you taking a pee on my porch deck.  It was pretty cold out tonight, perhaps that’s why I didn’t see anything flapping in the wind as you ran away screaming in pain.  Might I suggest that you choose Truth the next time your buddy Dares you to be such a Moron?  

Hope you all had a Safe and Happy Halloween!  It’s truly scary out there, so, watch out for the Morons, they’re everywhere!