12/08/2011

I’ve been spending my days doing a lot of nothing – physically speaking – if  you don’t include all the physical exertion one does when they’re coughing their eye balls out.

I finally went to the Doctor yesterday evening.  I have pneumonia.  

Lovely.

I kind’a figured, though.  

I also found out that the vascular Dr. decided to postpone the vein surgery mainly because he wanted to wait to get the word from my primary Dr. that I have managed to control my blood sugars well enough.  He’s worried about how well I’ll heal after the procedure.  Why he didn’t just tell me this himself, I don’t know.  I would have understood a lot better why he suddenly had a change of heart.  So, I hereby officially retract his status of "Moron" from my list of Monday’s Morons.  He may not have explained himself well enough but his intentions were honorable.  I have to go back to the doctor in two months to see how well I’ve managed my glucose over the past three months.  We’ll know then whether or not to proceed with the vascular procedure.  

I HATE DRUGS!

Since yesterday’s office visit, I now have five different drugs to take on a daily basis for the next week.  It’s temporary, though, so I won’t grumble.  

I coughed so bad last night, I vomited.  Sorry.  I know it’s not a pleasant thing to mention or imagine.  I could have sworn one of my eye balls fell into the toilet.  I don’t think there’s a more miserable feeling.  

BUT….,It’s all good.  Since this is a time of spiritual penance for us Catholics, I have something to suffer to offer up as penance.  Lord knows I need penance.  I’ve grumbled way too much over the past couple of years over the difficulties we’ve had to deal with when I should have been more patient, accepting God’s will in it all.  

Many people will argue that God wants us to be happy and not to suffer.  (I know because I’ve been yelled at many times by people who misunderstand what I mean when I say it’s God’s will for me to suffer.)  So, I’ll try to explain.  I agree He wants us to be happy and he doesn’t wish us to suffer, BUT, he allows our suffering for many reasons.  

One reason is that when Christ was on Earth, his life was one of suffering.  Even from his infancy, He suffered.  Think about it.  In the Blessed Trinity, He is the second person of GOD.  GOD the Son.  He is GOD.  He is the omnipotent, all knowing, all powerful GOD.  In Him there is nothing wanting.  In His absolute perfection, even the slightest fault wounds His heart grievously, and, as He wishes for all men to share in His glory, he wishes all of man to be perfect as He is.  Because we’re not capable of perfection by our own merit, due to our fallen and weak natures, He gives us a solution.  

HE HUMBLES HIMSELF 

He takes on the weak flesh of man and is born a helpless child who needs a Mother to care for His needs.  He becomes true Man all the while staying true God.  Although He doesn’t cease to be God, He CHOOSES to suppress His Godly power to become needful of all things.  If you do not believe that this caused Him a type of immeasurable suffering we’re incapable of understanding, consider, then, that He also consented to be circumcised according to, and out of obedience to, Jewish law.  In those days there was no such thing as sedatives or pain relievers and God needs not be obedient to anything.  

It is said that God the Father sent His beloved Son, Jesus Christ, into the world to save it.  It is true.  But what is also true is that Jesus didn’t have to suffer.  Being the second person of God, it would have been sufficient for salvation for Him to simply offer a prayer of contrition in atonement for the sins of man.  But because of His great and excessive love of man, He chose to suffer to show us the malice of sin, to prove to us His love for us, and to show us BY EXAMPLE how we are to live our lives in order to be counted among His children and the heirs of the kingdom of God.

Jesus did nothing by accident.  Everything he did and said has profound and endless meaning.  And because he suffered, so must we.

It is through our patient and loving suffering that we most closely imitate the life of Christ, where we can atone for our sins (when we suffer in the spirit of atonement, we effectively apply to ourselves the atonement of Christ), and where we obtain, through grace, the power to resist the temptations that lead to sin.  

So, with that great hope ever before me, I say, "God’s will be done."

May you all have a Blessed Advent leading to a most Happy and Merry Christmas.