Update

OK. Yeah. Where to start. I guess I’ll go with work first.

I made it. I’ve still got a job and I haven’t been written up or committed to a mental hospital so I guess I did OK. My department got completely wiped out.  The good news is that almost all the old freight I inherited is almost gone. I took over the department in early 2006, and there is still freight from 2004 we’re working through. My shelves are almost empty, but that’s a good thing right now since my spring plan-o-grams came out Friday and I start setting them Monday. I have to work at 0700 on January 1st, so that sucks a little, but just a little since I can’t have any champagne anyway.

Sammie graduates basic training on February 12, and I’m not sure I’ll be able to go. I still don’t have any help in the department, and all my paid time is gone for the year so I’m not sure they’ll let me go for three days. I’ve written him twice, and Ember has written him at least a short note every day since he left. She’s a little cranky right now: she was told he would only be gone six weeks, and it turns out he’ll actually be gone nine. It’s a little bit my fault she noticed: I told her last night that as of Monday, Sammie only has seven weeks left. She’s sad, and I do my best to cheer her up, but I can only help if she lets me, and she doesn’t always.

Christmas plans got a little screwed up. My parents didn’t go to Tennessee as planned, my sister, her family, and my parents all went down to my sister’s Florida house to spend Christmas. Amanda S was supposed to come by for Christmas lasagna with me, but she had car problems and her boyfriend’s step-dad decided she could stay over there all day. He had made it clear that at least part of the day would be reserved for “family time” and implied that Amanda should be somewhere else when that happened. He’s a bit of an ass. His step-son is probably going to marry this girl (they’ve been dating for four years now) and he goes and says that. Amanda blew her family off for Christmas this year, and they deserved it, but there are more issues there than I have time to go into.

I got to see the nephews and my niece for one day. They’re fine. They got pretty much everything they wanted for Christmas.

In case I didn’t tell you, I got a Sony PlayStation 2, Kingdom Hearts II, Katamari Damacy, and Bauldur’s Gate: Dark Alliance. I got a very nice ornament from Ember, and she cut a snowflake at work one day that I kept as well and put on the tree.

My sister isn’t pregnant anymore. They baby died, and her body wasn’t rejecting it, so they had to do a D&C. I feel like it’s partly my fault, but I know it isn’t. It’s just that less than a week after I put it up here and told everyone at work, this happened. That happens a lot with me, which is why I don’t talk about my personal life much anymore: as soon as I mention something important coming up, it gets changed or cancelled or worse.

I’m sick. I don’t know what it is, I hope it’s just a bad cold.

To top it all off, my mentor asked me the other day if I’d considered making a lateral move out of toys. Great. The only reason I’m in toys is to get promoted. I guess now we know how she feels about that.

This all sucks. I want to be well, I want to get promoted, I want Sammie home so Ember can be happy, and I just want to feel like I’m good at something. Just once.

I’ve got to go to my parent’s house now and take the tree down. Sick as I am, I’m probably still less likely to hurt myself than my father is.

And in case anyone is wondering, yeah, I’m still on my meds, I’m just having a really bad week.