Totally freaked out

I had the most horrible nightmare last night. It just seemed so real. I’m not even sure I can make it through the day at work, but I don’t have much of a choice.

The nightmare:
There was a fire at one of the stores overnight, I guess mine, but it looked more like a house. I was there for some reason I cannot explain, I remember telling the fire department the building was clear, but it was fully engulfed, and not salvageable, but they’d be able to keep it out of the trees with a little luck.

The next thing I know I’m standing over three very badly burned bodies with one of the overnight stockers from my store, I’ll just call her A for now, and asking who they were and why did they go back in after we had evacuated. She said they went in after her, and pulled her out, but got trapped. Of course at this point everyone is dispersing so I have no way of doing another headcount to find out who these people are, but I just *know*. I grab my walkie and start hollering for one of the people I think is in front of me, and get a reply that no one has seen her since right before the fire department arrived.

Suddenly I’m at a meeting, still freaking out because I’m pretty sure who at least two of the bodies are, but I still have no confirmation. Then our district HR guy walks in and talks to my store manager and one of the Senior Managers and then they come over to me. I’m already packing up my stuff at this point, I know where this is going. I’m told we lost some employees the night before, and they were very sorry, but one of them was stocker A, at which point I cut them off and say, no, I talked to her after the fire, she’s ok, but I’m going to the funeral home to find out who it really was. I know, way too soo to be at a funeral home given the circumstances, but it was a dream folks…

As I feared, it was TreeSap and Critter. And I couldn’t even stay long because somehow K’s daddy ended up in charge and he was causing a scene with me being there. K was there. She climbed up in my lap and gave me a hug and said "where mama? Go ToyMan house!" She just didn’t understand, and I couldn’t even try to explain. Then, strange as it seems, GR (who died Feb of 2008) came and took her from me and we went to a closed parlor and had some drinks, and then GR told K she’d be spending a lot of time at ToyMan’s house because mama had to go away. We ended up at my apartment shortly after that, and somehow D & B came over too, They ended up living with their dad, and K went to foster care for a while (which I don’t understand since her grandmother would be more than willing to take her even if her daddy was declared unfit) but she kept asking where mama was ,telling people that she loved ToyMan, and wanted to "go ToyMan house!" so DFCS finally put her with me to make her happy.

I am *seriously* freaked out about this. As soon as the hour is decent I’m calling both of them to make sure they are ok. I really want to call right now (and have since I woke up) but I really don’t think I can be articulate enough when I hear their voices to explain that everything’s ok now, They don’t have to worry about me having a breakdown or some weird reaction to my meds, I’m fine because they’re fine. I just don’t want to worry or confuse them this early in the morning…

And I’m still seriously freaked. The only thing that could have made it worse was if Ember had died too…