Today’s the day

I having lunch with Critter in about an hour. I’m pretty sure (like 99.99%) that we’re through. Just the way she’s been treating me since she moved out. Despite her insistence to the contrary it isn’t how couples treat each other.

I’m still willing to forgive and take her back (if I’m available) when she realizes that K’s daddy isn’t really going to change. It might last another month, maybe two, but then he’ll most likely be the same old ass he was before. However, this is her one freebie: she comes back and walks again it’s over.

Ember thinks I should have dumped her stuff on her doorstep a week ago. I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I still had hope.

Everything she left is in the back of my truck, she’ll have to find room for it in her car after lunch if it’s over, cause I’m done with it. I’m getting her key back too; I’m sick of waking up every time the building creaks or my neighbors make too much noise wondering if it’s her coming back. Every time I come around the corner my eyes go to her parking spot to see if she’s come home before they ever go to mine to see if someone’s "borrowing" it again.

I was willing to be daddy and father to her children, and I wanted her to be the mother of mine. If that’s what she says she wants I’m still willing to take her to the courthouse today at lunch and get married right now, but somehow I don’t think that’s what she wants, I don’t think that’s what she didn’t want to talk about over the phone last night when she called me for the first time in almost a week.

I asked how she was doing, and she said she was happy. The next logical question (to me) was, "then what are *we* doing?" That’s what she didn’t want to talk about on the phone.

This sucks.