Three Weeks

Three weeks. That’s a record even for me. Three weeks almost to the day and my relationship with Dirty Girl is already falling apart. There I was, sitting and waiting, occasionally calling because I was worried, but I was repeatedly assured that she was “on her way”. Five and a half hours after she was supposed to have been off work I went to the store to see if I could find her. I did. She wasn’t alone. She was way not alone.

I’m so pissed off right now. She’s genuinely sorry, and really regrets that it happened, but she’s always going on about one of her ex-boyfriends and how he cheated on her and she’ll never date him or any other cheater again and now she does it to me.

She did stay over last night. I was trying to understand; I was trying to put things back together, but now I don’t know. I wonder if I was being selfish in asking her to stay. I wonder if I was using her. I hurt so much right now. I don’t even know where to turn. Ember’s trying to help, she’s offered to have us both over for dinner and be the mediator while we hash this thing out.

The question that I wonder about though, is what happens next time she’s late coming home from work? Do I start freaking out, wondering where she is and who she’s with or do I just trust her? Can I trust her again? The sad thing is I didn’t even want to believe it when I saw it happening. I knew she was friends with the guy, I knew he was having some personal problems, and I knew they talked sometimes and didn’t care. The first thing I said to her when she walked in the door was, “do you have any idea what that would have looked like to someone who didn’t trust you?” Turns out it would have looked exactly like what it was. She said she thought it was over between the two of them, and I reminded her that three weeks ago she told me there wasn’t anything to be over, that it was just wild rumors, as usual, because they were friends.

She was wondering why she had let this happen. I don’t know. I do know that if she hadn’t been letting my calls go to voice-mail the last ninety minutes or so before I found her maybe it wouldn’t have. Maybe if she’d answered the phone she’d have remembered what she had, and what she was about to throw away.

Anyway, I guess nothing else can happen, so here’s my other news: I’ve been promoted. I’m going into the management training program starting Saturday, February 17, 2007. It’s going to be a huge pay increase, but it’ll mean a lot of time away from home the first eight weeks while I’m in the program. After that I’ll have my store assignment and things will settle down a bit. I’ll actually be working more hours after the program is over, but I’ll be able to move closer to whatever store I’m going to be working at. The odds of me coming back to my current store are low, but we are going to have a total of three openings by the end of day Monday, so you never know. So yeah, what a send off I got for my promotion. Yay ToyMan.