Should be asleep by now

I am so angry right now, and also so ashamed.

We didn’t get the job done again last night. I switched with the other manager, thinking perhaps my easy familiarity with the other side of the store was what enabled me to have so many good nights and him to have none. I thought that maybe the side he normally does really is that much harder than it seems.

He didn’t get his side done. In fact, he got less done than if he’d just left it alone and went and slept in his car for ten or twelve hours. On top of that one of the most critical departments in the entire store did not get turned completely. That’s the shame part, I’m ashamed we came from the same home store, and also that we have been managers the exact same amount of time and he is not where he needs to be. He even did his interview for the training program right after me, so we’ve been side by side through this whole thing. And he still runs around trying to do everthing himself instead of delegating it and following up. That’s how I get all that side done, there’s no way to do it your self. You also have to set deadlines and keep checking up on people to they know you’re paying attention. He didn’t do that.

I’m also very angry. I busted my butt, and pushed and pushed and pushed my workers to get things done and we didn’t. We came really really close. Even they saw it. They were saying “we’re gonna get it done, we’re gonna get it done!” Then I lost five people from my side of the store in the middle of their shifts. That killed us. We still came really close. We couldn’t have worked any harder. And that’s in addition to the six people that were on the schedule and never even showed up. So yeah, we were eleven people short by the end of the night, and that’s just counting stockers. My floor guys had three call-ins on their team. You have to have five people to get the floors cleaned and shined to company standards; we just want them looking that good. We had two last night, and the floors still looked good, not great mind you, but good enough just this once.

So, back to being angry: one of my bosses comes in this morning to open, and he wants to know why my side isn’t done (it’s always about my side, whichever one I’m on) I told him about the eleven people, and wanted to know if that was it, if that was the only excuse I had for him, if he was supposed to take that to the day shift people who have their own work to do and to the stockholders who’s profits we were impacting: do you think they care you were eleven people short? I was prepared for it, but I was really hoping it was just my normal paranoia setting in under stress. I’m just glad none of my folks were around to hear that. What was I suppesed to do, tell someone no they can’t go home until they’ve crapped themselves or thrown up all over the erchandise they are supposed to be stocking? Was I supposed to tell the guy with the heart condition that it’s OK, I know CPR an the paramedics will be here in ten minutes or so when you go down so just go ahead and stay? I mean really, he did go to the emergency room after all.

And the other managers keep telling me I’m the pet, the chosen one. If this is what it’s like then for my sake and mental health choose someone else.

Does anyone have the number of that truck driving school we saw on TV? I might need that.