I can’t even imagine what I’d do if it were me

I called TreeSap a little bit ago. She had sent a text earlier in the day wanting to know if I was at work. I told her yes, but what was up. She said she just wanted to talk and asked what time I got off. So I told her, but the expected phone call did not happen on the way home so I let it go until around 2100 when I knew she’d be up. I really wish I’d called her earlier.

It seems she has a history of heart problems I didn’t know about. They caused some problems when she was pregnant with her daughter, but they weren’t life threatening. Her cardiologist did advise against another pregnancy, but she’s made so much progress with her heart since P was born that she didn’t even give it a second thought when she found out she was pregnant again. She had an appointment with her cardiologist today, just as a precaution. After several tests and several tubes of blood sent out as a back-up to his preliminary diagnosis he gave her the worst news a doctor can give: only one of you is going to survive this pregnancy, you have to choose what to do. He recommended she terminate the pregnancy, and called her OB while she was in the office with him. She sees her OB again tomorrow (the cardiologist made that appointment for her) for a final consult. She’s fairly certain they are going to send her to a clinic in Atlanta or Chattanooga for the procedure. She’s devastated. I’m shocked beyond belief. I really wish there was something I could do or say, but I know there isn’t. I told her if she ever needed to get away from everything she knows where I live. I reminded her I’ve got two couches, a guest bed, and an air mattress so she can sleep where ever.

She hasn’t even told her parents she’s pregnant. The only people who know are her, the father, and me. She’s staying with them tomorrow night, and she said she’d probably tell them tomorrow night since they will have to take her to wherever she needs to go. She doesn’t think she’ll be able to drive herself. I didn’t ask what the father thought, I was more concerned about her.

She said her OB talked about tubal ligation after the last pregnancy, but her husband got a vasectomy instead. She told me while we were on the phone that she’d rather they just took it all out if they were going to be in there anyway. I told her that could alter sensation and response during sex, but she said she didn’t care. I told her not to do anything she couldn’t change her mind about when she was like this. I asked if she knew about those spiral things they put in your tubes that make them grow closed, and she said she did. I told her if she was going to go the non-reversible route then that was probably better since they could be placed through the natural openings in the body and there would be no loss of hormone generation or incidental damage to the nerves that could alter sensation and libido.

She mentioned that all anyone had to do tonight was look at her funny and she’d just quit and to hell with it all. I told her she shouldn’t be making career decisions in this state of mind, and she probably shouldn’t be going in at all. After I got off the phone with her I called the store and talked to the overnight manager and told him not to let her quit. If she insited on signing the form let her but put it in my box, not personnel’s. He said he would if it came to that. Of course I couldn’t give him any details, but he trusts me enough to go along for now. He’s gonna want an explanation eventually, but I can put that off for a little bit.

I have no idea what else I can do for her right now. She’s off for the next ten or so days due to her vacation and a small scheduling error on my part, so if she can just get through tonight she won’t have to deal with work for a while, and she may have to take a leave afterwards anyway. She’s already making allowances for the therapy sessions she’s probably going to need. I hate this. I hate it so much I could scream, but that won’t do anyone any good.

Dammit.