Confused

I can’t take the stress at work anymore. My doctor has doubled my meds. She wants me to check myself into a clinic, but I can’t afford to be out of touch right now.

Not to the point of hurting myself yet, don’t know that I will be.

Apparently at some point in the week leading up to the funeral, an off-hand remark I made trying to get Critter’s mind off our dead friend for two seconds (and she did smile a bit and roll her eyes at me so I thought it had worked) bothered her enough to tell Ember about it a week later and Ember told me I needed to "leave Critter alone." This didn’t happen until almost a week after the funeral and I had not talked to Critter in the intervening time except for one text message that was a reply to one Critter sent me so it’s not like I was all over her trying to make sure she was OK. She knew I was back at work and she could call me if she needed to, I didn’t know her schedule but kept the phone next to the bed just in case.

To top it all off I found out last night that Critter did something that I would never have thought she’d do, and while it’s really none of my business I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel about it since Ember’s the one that called me to tell me about it.

I have to go to work tonight. I hope I manage to not be fired at the end of my shift.

Maybe I should go to that clinic, but I’m expecting an important call this week that could make things so much better.

I forgot to give Ember her food. I was up at my parent’s place yesterday morning. I turned the water back on and did some laundry. I had some really stubborn gunk in one of my casserole dishes so I took that up and used the dishwasher on it. I also ran the coffee pot and other crap they left in the sink too.