episode 87 edit*

what a long weekend.

thursday went out with my aunt jenny to quintons hockey game. before that i drank a bucket at the pub.. then picked up jenny and quinton.. smoked.. dropped him off.. went to the bar for a beer.. went back to his hockey game.. they lost which sucked. dropped him off at home.. jenny and i went to the bar to meet up with an old friend i havent seen in over 10 years. crazy.. got shitfaced at the bar.. then went to eat at rams horn. then dropped jenny off then went home.

friday i promised my cousin quinton whos 14 id take him out.. we plotted saying we’d go to the movies but really i picked up my boy matt and we all went to chewys to smoke.. then i dropped quinton off and matt and i went to ashleys i waited for corey to come smoke a blunt with us.. finally he gets home and we all planned to go to skones to meet up with kim and kimmi. wellzy came too. so i dropped matt off and went to the bar.

didnt even get a little drunk but whatever i was cool with it.. ryan pissed me off horribly. he said he would see me but never did.. and his daughters mother tiffa was at his apartment. how annoying. and ryan kinda like blamed it all on his daughter that he couldnt see me. which pisses me off. so i dropped wellzy off and corey ashley and i went back to their house.. smoked and then i drove 10 houses to my house.

last night had to be the longest night ever. first my parents were planning a euchre party so they asked me to leave. i took the car with no gas and dropped it off at CVS because i knew i would want to drive later. angeline met me there around 530. we dropped her daughter off about 20 minutes away.. then drove to brads for some weed. then we ended up smoking a blunt with brad and brandon. (both ive slept with throughout our friendship). i missed brandon i hadnt seen him in so long. it was nice catching up.

then angeline and i left to meet up with her friend to smoke. we smoked then ashley told me she was working at crystals bar. so angie and i went up there to eat. i had a beer. then 9 started to roll around. wellzy called me and asked me to come meet up with corey at the restruant they always go to.. so i told my best friend id be with her husband and wellzy and probably be the one picking her up after she got off work.

angeline dropped me off at my car then i drove to the restruant. we all sat down just the three of us. in the back of my mind i was hoping scotty would be there since he always goes to the fights with corey. but he wasnt there and then corey mentioned to me his phone was dead. i wasnt bummed out or anything.. didnt really care.

i ate even moreeee than i should have.. and ryan texted me saying he was at the pub. corey accused me id go there to see if scotty was there and i said no.. and then he said i was going to bang ryan tonight. but i wanted to see ryan before i stopped at the party.. and i would hit up corey and wellzy later after the fights. my girl vegas texted me and said brandon and matt just showed up. which was sweet cause i had seen brandon earlier. i stopped at the pub first and found ryan there.. hugged all of my friends and ryan bought me a beer. i started to bring up the night before saying i was pretty upset the way he texted me he had gracie when really tiffa was there.. and he said he wasnt trying to full detail everything to make me feel shitty. which i could understand. he technically didnt lie but still. i caught him staring at me and when i asked him what he told me i have really pretty eyes. i acted like i didnt hear him and he repeated it. but i heard him both times =]

he asked me to come home with him and fall asleep in his arms. i said maybe later i had another party to stop at. he said he didnt believe me.. then when he left i told him i would see him later.. he texted me as i was getting into my car and said "babe come with me please" after he was just acting like he wasnt going to chase me and i could do whatever i wanted that he doesnt care. i told him "wow really? thought you werent chasing"
"well i want to cuddle with you i missed you"
oh so when you say jump i jump its like that huh?
"yep. youre mine"
ohhh im not anyones bitch. just so you know
"but you’re mine now."
since when.. ?
"since now.. come to bed with me. ill get you off"
like i said at the bar.. last night i was ready to go.. now the next week is fucked. because you stress me out
"fine stay home then.."
im not even at home.. im on my way to that party.

by the time i got to the party i wished i had invited him since i could bring anyone i wanted.. but didn’t. i was there for about two hours we played flip cup took some three olive shots with the girls. which was quite fun. i had a great time.. especially sitting by the fire. next to brandon. then brad came.. he was all over me.. which kind of upset me since brandon and i were getting along again so well. and brad? i mean we are like best of friends.. but i knew he was sloshed and was probably blacked out. brad started holding my hand putting my legs on him. i didnt want to be held under the impression that we were talking or anything. i love the kid to death but it sucked i wanted attention from brandon instead. blah.

ryan stopped texting me.. it was getting late.. i took brad home and then met corey and wellzy back at coreys house. he wanted me to get weed so i did. wellzy went with me.. we got it from kristie. which was crazy. hotel room shit. pumped gas my gage barely moved. drove back then corey wanted me to pick up ashley.. so i waited until three and she finally got out.. as i was sitting in the car waiting for ashley i dont remember crying.. i cried pretty hard. so hard make up was all down my face and i had no idea. when ashley got in the car she immediately asked me what was wrong. and told me i had streaks..

but i acted like nothing was wrong. i was laughing with her and stuff.. and talking with her.. when i got back to the house i had to pee.. i looked in the mirror and seen the faint streaks so i quickly wiped underneath my eyes.. i looked like i balled my eyes out. corey seen me fixing my face.. which lead me to believe he knew i was crying also.. and ashley probably told corey.. but they dont have a reason.. which will probably make them think i was crying over scotty.. because i was.

i cant figure out any other reason why i would be crying? i must have missed him.

we smoked a blunt and i felt instantly fucked up.. i took wellzy home and came home.. it was almost 5 when i fell asleep.. brad called me this morning. asking what happened.. and i told him what he was doing. we ended the convo and im here now.

scottys house called me twice.

one private.

everything is annoying right now.

all i want is the red wings to win this game… please please please.

-L

EDIT**

well corey called me and asked me if i could find him a quarter.. so i said sure hit up brad and he got me so i called corey back and said i could find it and i would swoop by for the money. im in my pjs and get in my car drive ten houses away.. BIG shocker. a white van was in the drive way. i wait there for two minutes like WTF they were outside and corey starts walking towards my car. i get out and walk up to

him.. really?
"yeah sorry about that.."
dude.

handed me the money i get back in the car and tell him hes smoking me up because of my connect. he agreed i ran over to brads few streets away got his brother in the car.. who is sexy as hell.. drove him around the block got the weed dropped him off picked up a swisher went back to coreys and blocked scotty in.

i grabbed the baby.. first thing i did.. didnt even look at scotty.. sat in the chair outside. my best friend was at the mall. scottys talkin to corey.. and then corey takes the weed and scotty rolls up a blunt. then i find out the weed was for scotty and not corey. that pissed me off.

using me for weed really?

we smoke a blunt a few times scotty was left alone with me.. he asked me whats with all the shake?
don’t make fun of my b-rad
"who did you get it from? brad?"
yeah.
"oh okay"

i was zoning out the entire time.. not even caring.. then scotty asked me what time it was and said he had to go soon. he gave me a cigarette him and corey kept talkin.. then he started to leave.. so i got up and corey asked me if i was leaving too.. and i said no i just had to move my car.. i start walking ahead of him.. as we get to the vehicles i hear.. "yeah move that piece of shit go kart"
well fuck you too
"oh its like that now? thats how you want it to be?"
thats what YOU said
"what the fuck do you want me to do linda?"
what the fuck do you want me to do?
"you know i hate hearin that bitches mouth"
im fucking dealing with it too! i still have to put up with her shit too!
"you know what that bitch did to me that night you were fighting?!"
look scotty she suddenly grew some balls and decided to leave me fucking voicemails i aint fuckin takin that shit fuck that. NOT my problem.
"that bitch sprayed windex in my fuckin eyes. i almost fucking killed her linda.. thats why i hate this shit thats why because one day over you im gonna go to jail for the rest of my life OVER rikki. you know what i mean?"
well i dont know what to tell you.
"im just sayin i dont want that shit happenin again you know what i mean."

i started my car and he got in his van.. pulled out and then he left.

walk back up to corey.  i didnt realize he was overhearing everything from the back yard. wtf ever.

my face was irritated.. he says "im sorry linda.. now youre in a bad mood"
im fine corey i just hate getting bitched at.. especially when im high
"he will call you.. he always does"
he will call me tomorrow im sure. he knew i was getting the weed didn’t he.?
"yeah he knew he was going to see you.. im sorry i shouldve told you first"
kind of a big slap in the face..

whatever.. im not even pissed off at corey. he knows me better than how i acted. he knew i wanted to be in scottys presence regardless. but scotty did know it was coming from me. whatever. i knew hed be back.. and actin like everythings okay around corey.. and then we deal when hes about to leave..

yeah.. he will call me.

and the cycle starts over again. this time im changing my number. period.

-L

love you all!