episode 67. edit*

today is the day..

scotty should already be in court by now. =[

he didn’t call me yesterday either. fag.

BUT.. i did catch him.. weird timing i have. i was running around with b nasty.. we were on our way to stephs to drink before bed.. get a buzz goin.. i looked at the pub parking lot. a white van was there..

"hey b. were making a pit stop"
why?
"white van"
is that one his?
"no i think its the other one"

i pull up around the van. i seen the buffer machine in the back.. looked nothing like his van though.. i pull up next to him

"oh i guess its not his."
yes it is! hes in the van!

i seen scotty look over at me. cheesin like a motherfucker.. SUPRISE fuckhead. i mouthed the word "really?" at him. he smiled even bigger. i left my car running and brittany in the car. opened his passenger door and got in..

oh i was just leaving baby
"yeah thats nice. hangin out at the bar huh?"
i was just leaving. ive only been here for like twenty minutes.
"my ass"
i was! i gotta go to work.
"can’t call me?"
i figured youd be up here since youre here every monday.
"not this time."
wtf are you doin with her? you hate brittany
"stfu. her and i are like me and you"
oh its like that now?
"yup.. gimme some smokes"
give me a lighter
"give me a hug"
give me a kiss.
"im gonna miss you cant call me to say goodbye?"
you guys act like im leavin for ten years or something. ill be out.. don’t worry
"ill be out gettin trains ran on me.. and fuckin black guys for twenty bucks"
ill kill you. and then ill kill whoever. and then ill be locked up handin out my goodbyes
"just wanted to hear you say that actually."
i love you.. ill call you as soon as i see light again.
"i love you too"
good timing by the way baby.. you fuckin stalker.. you aint gonna tie me down.. remember that
"oh so friday i get treated like a queen.. see a different scotty.. now what back to scottys old ways"
mmhm. i see youre using your gas wisely.
"i went everywhere today."
im glad i helped you with that.
"i still have your rose"
itll die soon.. throw it away
"i never want to throw anything away that you give me."
go on baby your car is running.. go with b.

we did our usual. he started pulling out and i cut him off.. i laughed at him and he rode my ass until i turned off. i seen him through my rearview shakin his head smiling at me.

gosh. why does he have to be so fucking hot.

went on with my day as planned.. got drunk.. stayed over at kellys. life is good.

in a way i am happy he is going to be locked up. now i know where he is. and he has no idea what im doing..

turnin tables around like a mothafucka

-L
 

EDIT*

went to kroger today to do some grocery shopping for my dad.. i ran out of money at the first kroger. how embarassing. the bitch behind me was getting all huffy and puffy when i had to leave some items behind.. went back home dad gave me more money to get the rest of the items.. so i went to a different kroger. im heated to begin with.. hot and bothered.. standing in the check out lane waiting.. my phone rings.. random number…

"this is a collect call from a correctional facility from please state your name sir.. ‘baby its scotty’.. would you like to speak with him?"
yes of course.
"do you have a credit or debit card with you?"
no i don’t
"do you have a home phone number?"
yes i do..
"are you at home?"
no im out right now..
"alright thank you ma’am.. have a nice day"

hung up.. i wonder if he heard my voice…

i finally got scanned and paid for the rest of the groceries.. went to my car sat in it.. and then it hit me. my eyes were watering so bad i tried so hard not to cry. i sat in my car for a minute before i started it to go home. why do i miss him so fucking much and it hasn’t even been a day. i thought to myself that he wouldn’t want me to cry so i need to suck it up.. i stopped crying but im crying now as im typing this..

he told me he wasn’t going to call me when i asked him to.. maybe he was letting me know he was thinking about me? or couldn’t stand sitting in there for hours? maybe he was letting me know he was in there.. or trying to tell me he might be in there even longer.. i wish i knew how long he had to be there..

should i call the number back? and try to get more information? maybe get an address so i can write to him. i want to write to him.. i SHOULD write to him.. he’d definitely read my letter this time.. i don’t even know what to say.. or what to do.. or figure out a way to talk to him.. so he can tell me how long hes in there.. what if hes in there for three months instead of three weeks.

im fucking losing it. i miss him so much. i don’t know what to do.. maybe i should call it back.. and ask about him.. or try to get some info.. i dont know how county jail works.. i don’t know where hes at.. they just said correctional facility they didnt say isabella.. or dickerson.

WTF do i do? im so confused.

-L