episode 55.

if you didnt read the last entry please do because its linked to this one.

yesterday. showered got ready for blaines party. drove to parents at a euchre party to get money. drove to pub to have a beer.

walked in the bar. first person i see. scotty.

panicked. he seen my eyes i seen his. he put his head down. i said "are you fucking kidding me" and went into the bathroom

i start shaking. it took me about 5 minutes. there was no van. why didnt i know he was here.

i leave the bathroom and sit at the waitresses table. im not sitting at the bar

i order one beer. im not obviously staying.

i drink half of it. go outside and smoke. in my car

im on the phone with kelly.

hes outside smoking too. by the front door.

he walks inside. i get off the phone and walk inside

i locked my keys in my car. my house key

panic again.

my best friend and her husband rescued me. her husband was planning to pick up scotty anyway

pat walked in the bar. i begged him to take me home. he had to work in 10 minutes. he sat next to scotty

imfuckinglosingit.

my best friend takes me home to get my key. corey sits in the bar with pat and scotty.

we get my car. ashley drops off her car to her husband. we leave. i am sick to my stomach.

i hate everything.