episode 37.

i cant even express the rage and anger going through me right now.

yesterday morning around 4am i got another pleasant phone call from rikki. random number. i answered in the middle of the night. she talked a bunch of shit and i hung up. i woke up 5 minutes later and blocked everything. blocked scottys house. blocked rikkis random numbers and blocked private calls.

yesterday i woke up late.. around 1.. todd from the pub picked me up and we went and saw roommate. good movie.. i liked it. after that i got dropped off at home.. the other todd & kenny picked me up. we went out to eat at 5 guys burgers and fries. then went to the bar for a few beers.. as i was getting down to my first beer alayna from the pub called me.

asked me to work for the bands.. even though i was planning to go up there anyway. i decided to work. i thought id make money. not a fucking chance. what a joke. but anyway i went to work. what a fiasco.

i had kenny and todd take me home to get ready for the pub. i dressed up. blah. and went to work. it was so boring at first.. then when the bands started playing i barely got any tables due to the other waitresses. i was pissed. and stoned. just irritated that all of my friends were there getting drunk. i checked my phone a few times.. sure enough two calls blocked and a voicemail.. scottys house

i check the voicemail and i could barely hear. it was rikki purposely dialing me leaving a voicemail of her and scotty having a conversation.

the next voicemail she sent she handed him the phone acting like it was someone else. he was saying hello into my voicemail not knowing he was recording himself on my voicemail.

at this point i am boiling with rage. fucking fuming. she called again but it was blocked. so this time i called back. he answered the phone..

hello?
what the fuck do you want
what the fuck are you talkin about
did you just call me?
no
well your house called me about 5 times and 2 voicemails
what number called you
THIS FUCKING NUMBER

he hung up on me. i called back again and she answered.

listen bitch you want war? lets fucking roll

hung up.

i walk back into the shitty pub.. my mom came up for a few.. after a while fights broke out.. cops showed up. it was fuckin rediculous. we started closing the bar.. then pat told me he would do rails with me

i almost don’t want to write down what happened next.. nothing sexual happened.. but staying up all night with mike pat and stevie brought some serious attention to my eyes.. we were wasted. and mike made me feel like a fucking princess so did pat. mike followed my car home.. i went and changed and got back in his car.. i stayed the night with them. it was crazy weird. one minute i was kissing pat downstairs and hes telling me all of these things.. the next im next to mike in his room.. then pat came upstairs. pat was on the phone. mike and i were kissing. feeling eachother.. then pat crawled into bed. and wrapped his arms around me kissing me. he wanted to do something but i just started to fall asleep. mike held my hand.. and my other hand was holding pats.

i dont even know how this happened.. literally both of them were hard and i think they were just too fucked up to realize.. but i almost freaked because they both had me sandwhiched all over me. and i almost thought one of their hands was going to grab the others dick. i dont know why this was going down. but it was pretty fucking hot in all honesty. i know theyre good friends but in the middle like that wow. touche.

i woke up fully clothed. it was dark. there was a female standing at the foot of the bed calling mikes name. youve got to be fucking kidding me. when she walked in though i was curled up next to pat. facing pat in pats arms.. i heard mike and the female talking. this bitch actually pulls the blankets off of us. mike had no clothes on but pat and i were fully clothed. and my shirt was up. that was it. but when she pulled the covers off of us she was talking about me being naked. or whatever she said. and mike said leave pat and his girl alone. and she said oh yeah right you both fucked her last night. i honestly didnt bother opening my eyes. i was still half asleep. but i heard pat bitch what the fuck mike tell your ex wife to fuck off. mike starts bitching got up put clothes on. seriously. i mean granted it looked bad but i was clothed. and who i was spooning with was clothed also. ugh i cant stand females.

i woke up to just me and pat in mikes bed. fuck i couldnt breathe from all the cocaine. dustin gave me a ride home. then the night started coming back to me. my favorite bartender at the pub kelly is like a huge close friend of mine. and she is head over heels in love with mike. i know nothing happened.. but regardless he got close to me the entire night after working at the bar. it was just insane i started to panic. i couldn’t have done that to my girl. and i know we didnt have sex or anything and we were all fucked up. but damn. i would fucking murder someone if they touched scotty without me there who was my supposed friend. i feel really shady. but i guess im going to hold that secret down. i remember talking to her.. scotty to me is like mike to her. time to move on. and i realize what his ways are. hes got that personality down. same with pat. i met pat through scotty. and scotty knew id end up falling for pat. which is true theyre all really attractive.. and theyre all the same mysterious something jumps inside you when they talk to you shit. i dont know what the fuck my problem is.

but i think im lashing out. in a weird multiple guy way. i just cant get over how turned on i was that i was in between two fine ass guys kissing my neck and just WOW.

i dont know how i should feel. i feel a huge headache.. cant breathe through the nose.. rage from rikki.. pissed from the pub.. shitty for kelly.. and a sleezy slut to mikes ex wife… and then i feel like mike really likes what kind of person i am.. and pat just flat out respects me and my wishes.

WTF. im so confused.