episode 35.

last night was epic.

after i seen ryan.. todd took me out to bumpers bar.. where ryan just took me. we got fucked up. then went to the pub. at the pub i had to drive john home.. john is scottys cousin who works at the pub. we barely ever talk about scotty tho. i just don’t like being around him tho because he tells scotty when i show up at the pub.. one of scottys eyes and ears. but i drove todds car. which was grand. took johns drunk ass home.. and back up to the pub. john gave us the rest of his beer. and todd had to work for him. it was whatever tho. todd bought a bucket and we got fucked up. the entire time at the pub rikki blew up my phone. i answered a few times but i don’t remember what i said. whatever i said i mightve just hung up on her.. but it pissed her off. i am so sick of this. leave me the fuck alone. honestly. GO AWAY.

mike tried hanging out with me. i almost left scotty for mike about a year ago. last valentines day i spent with him but it was seriously a joke. he dumped me telling me he was moving back in with his wife. no surprise they didn’t get back together because she has a fucking boyfriend. so now he’s knockin on my door again. he fucked it up tho. i blew him off no problem. i think todd gave me a ride home. i was wasted.

i crashed in my clean room. i love it now.. when i wake up i don’t see anything that reminds me of scotty besides my fav alcohol with him.. =]

every time i think about ryan i smile huge. i almost forgot he kissed me. how cute. i hope we see a movie today. that would just be grand. i want to hug him already.. ugh. and this whole time i figured id mope over scotty for like EVER. im still weak to scotty tho. if i seen him id probably beg him to talk to me. and he would go weak and talk to me if i threw tears at him. hopefully i never get to that point. i hope we don’t run into eachother. ughhh i miss him tho too.

but im trying to cover it up. its working so far. i am so hungover.. i feel good tho. time to watch monday shows and clean the house. JOY.

-L