episode 100.

to celebrate this hundreth episode… im going to change up the diary.

some changes need to happen around here.

yesterday scotty ended up taking the night off.. he called me right before i was about to go to ashleys to smoke.. so i offered to come get him.. we ended up staying at coreys and barely went anywhere. he was being sweet as usual.

but then he was going through my phone again.. and found my diary.

he read about the last 15 entries starting with the last one. im not sure how much he read.. but he read enough.. believe me i have TRIED snatching the phone.. but it didnt work. a couple times i had to give up. watching him read creeped me out.. i was almost on the verge of tears..

he was smiling though. i mustve said something good about him.

he sent me to the store with money and kept the phone claiming he needed to make a call. but i knew he just wanted to read more.. either way he wasnt giving up the phone so i wanted to get out of there. i felt better driving to the store and when i came back i asked him if he was done reading..

he said he read a lot.

blah.

he gave me back my phone…

"i thought you were supposed to tell me everything.."
you just read everything inside my head.. what more?
"i got a lot of shit on you now.."
you know damn well you take up 99% of that whole diary. your name is written all over it..
"more like 85%"
uhh no..
"okay.. 95%"

we ended up kissing and fooling around. he bent me over coreys couch and banged me under a minute… but it was hard.. and it felt amazing.

i made fun of him calling him a minute man.. and he said its been awhile..

i told him it wasnt that long since we fucked in coreys bathroom.. and he asked me if he was the last one ive done anything with.. i pointed at my phone.. like really?.. then he says "i figured some other guy would try to sneak up from under me and fuck you or something"

really?

i do tell him everything. now he knows whats inside my head..

im not ashamed but im not relieved either. i guess trying to snatch the phone just made him more curious that i was hiding something.. when i wasnt.. well i kinda was.. with corey..

yeah he read all of it.

all of it. while sitting on coreys couch.

but corey and i never did anything.. which before he read my diary he was askin me questions about that.. but my story matched with my own diary. at least he knows im not lying about anything..

but he still doesnt think i tell him everything… i dont.. i dont even tell my diary everything.. but im pretty damn near close. and no one that lives in my city realizes i even have a diary.. and he knows now. he knows ive been updating since january..

anyway.. back to how last night ended.. extremely disappointed.. he was dog ass tired. he promised to use the second condom making it last a lot longer than the first one..

that didnt happen. i was wrapped in his arms watching movies and he just grew uncomfortable tossing and turning after we laid there for an hour together. he got up.. i tried letting him fall asleep on his own and he figured since he was so uncomfortable he would wake up to fuck me in a half hour or something..

nope.

i ended up going home. i was so bummed. even thought i had no reason to be. i got my hugs and kisses from him. i knew i shouldnt even be mad.. oh but i WAS. so ANGRY.

i had my hopes set high to feel at LEAST a little sore while getting into my car.

NOPE!

he owes me big. and hes working til thursday.. he owes me double big.. overtime.

BLAH!

-L