267. jail.. scotty.. & deactivation

 i went to jail on wednesday night thursday morning. LITERALLY.. for no reason. i had to pay $1100 to bail my CAR out. the cops have fucked up. so i believe my parents are shelling out 5 grand to get a lawyer and sue.

me.. nor dan.. (my other delivery driver) were charged. yet.. we were arrested.. strike you odd?

dan and i had been released at 11am thursday morning. dan had to work 12-9. we blew up work stranded in a different city. our boss.. (the owner of 80s) ended up picking us up from being incarcerated.

when he picked us up we sat there on a bench talking to the homeless worrying what our boss was going to tell us. i took shotgun on the way home. it turned out.. he was fine.. (we all learn some way) kind of lecture. he took us to work.. yet I wasnt scheduled. dan ended up coming in from 4 to 8.. while I had my day off.

my car was still impounded..

I had driven my father crazy.. since my vehicle is in his name. I went through a huge maze getting my car out of impound. I realize I shouldnt talk about this matter too much. since the police who pulled us over is corrupt.

dan and i sat in jail (for no reason) for 9 hours. 3am to 1130 am. at 6am.. i called scottys cell phone (i hadnt talked to scotty over a week since he crawled into bed with rikki) he denied me. i only called him that one time.

when we got out of jail i went home on the phone with police and courthouses. my car was seized. i had to come up with $900 to the city of detroit. and $175 for impound fees. this money came out of my and ONLY my pocket.

this money was my escape to move out. but since.. the police have fucked up. completely. i have told my parents i didnt care about the money since that was all i had. and that i would work it off.

my parents are debating to take their personal money for a lawyer to sue.

thats up to them. not me. if it was me.. id do it. but its not so idk about that thus far.

when scotty denied my call in jail i cried. for hours. thinking my life was over and that denial of a phone call just proved he doesnt love me.

when we were released from jail and our boss came to get us during work hours we thanked him so much for supporting us and most of all.. giving us our jobs.

today. dan and i struggled through 6 hours (9am to 3pm) of literally forcing my car out of impound. its all about $$$$. after i got in my car to take home.. we both had to work. we hadnt eaten anything all day so we agreed to meet at taco bell. on my way there i recieved a phone call.

it was from an inmate of a city jail. i declined him ten times.

as dan and i ate taco bell.. we went back to my house to smoke. and i finally accepted scottys call. it cost me 25 dollars.

i cant even explain my emotion of the situation.. especially about scotty.. right now. my next entry will be his letter. this letter will explain everything that has to do with him. and this letter is letting him no my true emotions. since scotty doesnt read my letters.. or misplaces them before he reads them. i am going to read it to him in person.

heres when shit goes to worse. i went to work at 430. i was scheduled at noon. but since my car incident.. i could only come in at 430. mind you dan and i had our shifts covered throughout the two days.

by 9.. my boss threw me out. to me.. hes firing me.. apparently dan and ben (other driver) think i slack off. shit got personal. ive been crying for the last 3 hours wondering if i still have a job.

every five minutes i imagine myself committing suicide.

when will my life go right? when?

-L