205. school.. work.. & scotty

school is grand. is all i have to say. i am so happy i am back but in the mornings.. i dread it. but i am fully motivated.. even though i get overwhelmed at some times.

work is awesome too. ive made my position at 80s pretty fucking comfy. i aint goin anywhere. people have been getting fired left and right tho. its retarded.

joe and ben are fighting.. the manager i slept with and ben the other driver. im kind of in the middle of that drama. but everyone has just been feeding me information. i just dont leak out to anyone. so my friendship with ben has got a lot closer.

we ended up going to a bar and apparently we had so much fun we blacked out and kissed at the bar. i thought that was weird.. but everything is okay between us.

kenny the dj.. i dont know if i mentioned it in my diary yet.. but i got to sleep with him two days after i slept with scotty on my rag. i warned kenny i was on the rag but he didnt care.. it was hot sex. i asked him for a rematch.. neither of us have the time.

tall ass tim is a no go. hes weird. thats all i gotta say about that. hes nice tho. real nice. i told him my ex was creeping his way back in.

which scotty has been going higher than my expectations. hes calling me at random times asking what im doing when he already knows the answer. hes been buying hotel rooms left and right. hes been eating me out a lot.

hes been seeing me every day.

yesterday we smoked at corey and ashleys before i had to work.. the day before that he came to richards to see me before he went to sleep. and yesterday he told me he had to work at 630pm.

i worked my 5-10 shift and at 7:30 scottys house called me and i missed the call. i fuckin flipped a fucking lid. i thought it was rikki. but when the phone didn’t blow me up like she would.. i then figured it was scotty.

the phone rang again and it was him. he called me at 9. he told me his shift canceled and rikki left with her skank hoes and he was watching his sisters kids. he asked what time i got off and when i told him ten he said he split my weed in to bags for me so i could sell them since i didnt have a scale. and then he said he broke off a blunt for us when i got off work.

he told me he would call me right at 10pm.

as i was finishing my shift lana wanted to get a drink. so i told her we would smoke.. scotty never called after 10. so i was bummed a lil. but we said fuck it and went to the bar. kenny was djing.

i texted him bang bang. he was confused with question marks. i took lana back to her car.. and went back to the bar. i sat next to bill and drank a few more. i was debating what i should do. i wanted to smoke. i figured fuck it and ill just go home..

then at 1:15 scotty calls me.. i answer it. and he immediately started apologizing that he fell asleep. i said it wasnt a big deal and told him i was at jrs. i wanted to smoke tho. so he told me to come over.. as soon as i get there he fell asleep again so i called him.. no answer.. called again and he answered.. he got up right away and came outside and sat in my car..

he kept kissing me saying sorry that he tried not to fall asleep so he could see me. then i told him that he actually misses me. i asked him what made him kiss my ass so much.. he told me to shut up and turned on his gangster bad boy side.

i wanted to fuck. he told me to drive.. i drove to my grandpas vacant house and we fooled around in the driveway in my car.. when i got worked up enough i told him to fuck me.. and then he told me he wanted to fuck me all night.. he didnt want a quickee.

i told him to fuck off and forget about the fuck me for hours all night shit.. that it was 2am and i wanted to go to bed after i got laid. he kept saying he wants to fuck me for hours until we pass out together.

so we get a room. he tore me up. then he missed work to sleep with me. i warned him he needed to chill and focus on his job.

ive seen him kiss my ass before.. but this.. isnt the scotty i used to know hes sweet. or maybe that break up shit is finally eating him alive.. i wasnt even pissed or all butt hurt that he fell asleep when igot off work. i wasnt even trippin. i was smiling havin a good time. and he literally worried that i was mad at him.

i like being in that spot where hes chasin me. but idk. i think that i lost a shitload of trust for him. i cant even describe what the feeling is. im still crazy about him.. just not so much anymore. he even held my hand when we drive in the car. he holds my hand the entire time.

before we went to my grandpas driveway last night a cop was following me through side streets. i was high as fuck.. i told him it was a cop and he told me it was okay. then.. out of no where.. i hyperventilated. he just kept touching me telling me he would leave us alone.. and the cop finally turned off.

when we were in the room he was sitting in the chair and i laid in the bed. he went down on me.. after he pounded me and didnt get off.. i climbed on top of him and came all over his dick. he laid me on my back and held me telling me i can take a break and that whenever i was ready hed be up to do more to me.

i was falling asleep trying to stay awake for him.. when i opened my eyes he just squeezed me tighter into him and told me to fall asleep. he shut the light off. he got me water. he played with my hair.

who the fuck is this guy?

-L