179. surprise

scotty and i talked once for five minutes through five days. it was stressful. work has loaded more stress.. money.. car. everything has been stressing me.. and then scottys the last thing i think about.

for some strange reason.. rikki has left my phone ALONE. i am shocked.. its been over a week.. thats the longest.

but on to the entry..

last night was the worst night at work. i was confronted that i slacked off and literally cried hysterically the whole way home and hyperventilated in my bed until my dad calmed me down.

i called scotty twice.. nothing.

i fell asleep.. late.. i woke up at 9am this morning on the dot.. i rolled over trying to sleep.. and scottys calling me.

i answer sounding like complete shit.. and then he told me to wake up and get dressed he was smoking a blunt with me. i told him i had no gas in my car and he parked his van next to my car.. he got out and came up to my window and started up my car warming it up for us..

when i was getting my shoes on he came in and told me to wait a few because it was cold.. he hugged and kissed me.

i drove to the gas station and he pumped my gas and bought me a mountain dew. drove back to my drive way and we smoked.. i walked back inside and he followed.. he kissed me all the way to my room. i told him thank you for coming over to see me. he said he figured he would wake me up and get me high. he said he was going to leave..

i told him to stay though.. his teeth were biting my neck.. up my ears… he put one hand down my back.. and the other down my front.. while he was getting me off i was pulling his dick out.. he fingered me harder i was squeezing his hands.. then i made him pull his hands out.. he said he had to go but he was so hard.. i put him in my mouth.. and he stopped resisting.. when i stopped i told him i wanted to get laid..

he got all huffy and puffy about it.. "you always want to get laid. all the time lin."

aww poor him. its so hard… 5 minutes and he will DIE!

i started being a smart ass. and he gripped my hair up forcing me to turn around. he licked my neck then pushed me bent over on the bed.. i started laughing at him.. he spanked me hard.. when he started fucking me it felt wayyy too good. he was talking mean to me making me even more wet..

then he started hitting me.. leaving a handprint on me.. i felt him cum.. he slowed down and pulled out.. he said he was going to beat my ass for making him late..

well thats what you get. he left.. and i laid on my bed for about an hour just thinking about it replaying in my head.

anyway..

remember dan? saturday i let him stay the night with me.. and i didnt sleep with him.. i didnt even kiss him. but this guy is chasin HARD. when i slept next to him his dick was hard and he was moving.. huge turn off.. when he finally was still i couldnt stop thinking about scotty..

not just about him but i was fantasizing about him. literally dreaming about getting fucked by scotty and his demands.

im a horrible person.

-L

AT LEAST i didnt sleep with dan.