173. take care.

ive been cramming drakes album take care in my head every time im in my car. the same songs over and over. and my favorite one of course is take care the song.

today rikki broke through after she left 5 voicemails i forced myself to call her and yell. i texted scotty that i couldnt handle it anymore.. and he wrote back saying she will never leave me alone and hes tired of it. so he wants to disappear.. in the middle of his break up sentence he wrote.. take care.

wow. through a text message?

i doubt thats the last time he will contact me.. but let us all hope that it is.

dont get me wrong. saturday was beautiful.. he made up for an emergency that happened on friday. we spent the night and he was really good to me.

then rikki. again fucks with me. so i stood up and said something. THIS IS WRONG SCOTTY HELLO?!!?!?

this is so frustrating. my head is spinning.

im actually okay. i just.. i want him.

i want what i cant have.

for once our texts werent me blowing up his phone yelling at him accusing him of blah blah blah. it was heartbreaking. like hes given up on me so fast he writes it through a text.

wtfever bro. i feel like a waste of space.

-L