172. thanksgiving

well i am not excited or thrilled for this dinner at my aunts house. im so sick of my family.

last night i busted my fucking ass at work. literally was running. deliveries back to back. right before i got to work scotty called me right after he paid his bill and his phone turned back on. he was planning to go out with me after work. i was excited. then around 6.. he called and cancelled.. said he had his son. i was so bummed even though he had just bought me a hotel room and held me so tight as i slept. he asked if i was alright after my tone of voice changed to sad.

i said i was alright i just missed him as usual. and he told me not to worry and that we would see eachother on friday.

after that phone call work was swamped. i got even busier. and then i had to go to probation for a breathalizer (being the biggest bar night of the year) i passed of course and went back to work and got off at nine. i got home and ashley texted me saying she was at work wearing a sweater like an idiot and sweat stains were showing so she asked me to bring her a shirt. so i went through my bar clothes and picked the pretty one i looked like shit in. and a little black over coat to go with. she loved it and said she wanted to buy it from me. ha. i made her buy me two shots then i was out. the shots didnt sit well with me. cherry bombs suck. i guess i dont like cherries. but they were the cheapest and i wanted to pregame since i knew i wasnt going to see scotty.

cal (guy who wants to have a threesome with scotty and i) started buggin me ever since i was at work. then i said i was busy.. then i changed my mind and was like fuck it.. lets go to the bar and then get high. he said he was hoppin in the shower and for me to just walk in. as i was driving to cals scotty called to know my plans for the night.

okay seriously? whats the catch here? he never cares about my plans. i told him i was going to cals to pick him up then go to jrs for a few beers and i was trying to get weed.

scotty told me he wanted some too and that he would call me right back. when he called me right back there was extreme noise in the background and i heard a bitch in the background which infuriated me. i snapped at him where the fuck was he at and whos the bitch. he said he was at jrs and he had a little time to spare before he went to pick up his son from his sisters. and the bitch in the background was nothing to worry about obviously.

he was waiting for me. when cal and i walked in i got myself a beer and sat with him and his brother and chris. i guess i was frustrated i didnt know he had off and it somewhat pissed me off how it went from quiet phone call to loud as fuck bitch in the background. he pointed to the bitch in the background and told me thats who i was hearin on the phone.

i relaxed after seeing that psycho. old pillhead bitch. yuck.

as the beer sunk in i started getting loose and feeling better. scotty and i got weed through chris and he was kissing me and following me around the bar. i felt so much better. i was enjoying myself. he ended up staying for three hours. we smoked a blunt in my car and in the middle of the blunt i had to pee.. my windows and car keys were down and i just hopped out of the drivers seat and went back in the bar.

when they all came back in scotty handed me my keys.. ahh heart melted.

when we all were leaving cal walked to my car and scotty came up behind me wrapping his arms i turned around and hugged him. he said he would try to come back out to see me. and he missed me. =] and i asked him to promise.. and then he said no promises i was bummed.. he told me not to worry because friday we will be together.

i drove cal home. and he begged to fuck me. i told him not without scotty. so then he asked to eat me out with no other bullshit attached. i let him. i came. and then i left. i drove over to coreys (my best friends husband) and jimmy was there. i broke up weed but they already had weed. they were drunk and i was drunk.. after 2am i realized scotty wasnt going to call so i went home i slept.

which brings me to today. woke up screaming for water. ugh i hate hangovers. went downstairs and watched revenge. i fucking love that show. im sad desperate housewives are leaving. but that show makes up for it.

then i watched ANTM all stars. for those of you who watch that show. the blonde is my favorite. next is angelea. when they all ganged up on her like that. i felt the same way about my family. what a joke.

then i watched an episode of workaholics and cracked up the entire time. ahhh.

my phone rang.. and it was scotty. i answered and he wished me a happy thanksgiving apologized for last night.. and told me hed call me tomorrow to figure out our plans. i told him what i did last night.. and told him that i let cal eat me out. and i got off. he was happy for me but warned me that cal is probably going to be obsessive over me. after the phone call i cant stop smiling. he never calls me like that.

i feel like im winning him. like hes falling for me. hes checking on me now.. kissing me at the bar. following me around the bar. planning to take me out tomorrow. that guy is my rock. he gets better everyday to me.. but then.. im worried when all of this shit is going to shatter.

everything is so up and down. i just hope this happiness doesnt go away. i hope he realizes how much i really do love him. im starting to feel like hes giving it back to me.. i try not to be so clingy to him in public. and i think its working. i try not to get wasted around him.. he seems happy when hes with me. ive seen him laugh a lot. i love how he warns me about guys that want me. and stands so tall before them. ugh im rambling.

i have to get ready.

happy turkey day everyone.. i will update tomorrow of our plans =]

-L