112. Road Head

I hope everyone enjoys my title as much as I did. Ha ha.

I’m also updating on the iPad I have to fix my computer again I watch too much porn to get off. Blah.

So yesterday Scotty was calling me all day keeping me posted. I swear he’s starting to scare me the way he’s giving me so much attention. He told me him and frisbee (a new work buddy) was going to try to make last call at the pub. I was super excited.

On our first phone call I was running errands with my aunt and he called me from his house phone which read “dumb hoe” on my phone. My stomach dropped and I answered it. It was silent but then I heard his voice. I told him not to fucking scare me like that. He started laughing. He told me he thought about fucking with me but decided it was too mean. Yeah no shit.

He brought up something to do with rikki and facebook talking about me being friends with his sister. Apparently she asked him why were her and I friends. He told her to ask her or me. Not those exact words it was a lot more brutal response. He literally talked to me for a half hour while I was at home and he was on his way to his store. He told me him and frisbee were going to speed back and meet me at the bar for last call.

My aunt had horrible news that she got arrested hit and run in a kroger parking lot. So after my mom went to bed I went over there to support her and we blazed. Then frisbee texted me saying they would be there at 1230 which was way earlier than planned I was super excited.

When i left Jennys to go to the bar I was so nervous. My stomach was in knots. After three years of this nonsense the butterflies won’t go away. Damn I love him.

When I got to the pub a huge black guy approached me I did not recognize one bit he said I was at the bar recently with Kelly and some other guy. Which was mike. I told him I was so plastered I had no memory. He began to tell me how he would love to fuck me. I texted frisbee saying “where the hell are you guys”

He responded saying he and scotty were at jrs ordering another pitcher. I said I thought Scotty said the pub. He said he did say the pub. He knew I had no money so I asked the black guy to pay my tab so I could hitch it to jrs. After I convinced the guy to buy my beer Scotty and frisbee walk in laughing. I flicked them both off. Scotty was scruffy on the face. So fucking sexy. He sat by me and frisbee sat next to him. Scotty got up to say hi to Jo and paid my tab off and ordered a bucket. Frisbee bought the next bucket. Scotty bought me and the waitress shots. The black guy disappeared after Scotty kissed my neckcfrom behind while the guy was talking to me. I love it when he rubs me in everyones face. We stayed til close talking about mine and scottys relationship to frisbee. How he turned me away from amber. Turns out frisbee and I are the same age and went to the same high schools. It was good times.

When the bar closed we finished our beers and Scotty gave frisbee the van keys and Scotty took my keys and started driving. I told him to just post in my driveway and he said no then I convinced him we weren’t going inside. We waited for my dad to leave at 330. I peed in my driveway. We sat there kissed and talked about who knows what because I was pretty wasted.

Then after my dad left he said he’s going to give Corey some money for work the next day. So we head over there. I kept playing the new nicki minaj songs over and over. We had the windows rolled down and my feet were hanging out the window. We get to coreys and he went inside Corey came to talk to me. I was so hammered. Then he goes in. I go in to pee. Scotty smacks my ass as I walk by. I come out hitting him he started wrestling with me picking me up. I guess I was entertaining everyone with my drunk ass. Scotty says he has to get some sleep since he had to be up at 5. It was already 345. We get back in the car and he drives home. I gave him road head.

As we were getting close to his house I started gagging and taking huge breaths for air. He told me to stop and that I was done. I kept saying I could do it. He pulled over ready to get out and I had to drive home. I was not letting his hard dick away from me. So I finished. I know tmi but I usually swallow all of him clean. When he came I was so drunk it was in my throat and I gagged again coming up for air and didn’t have time to swallow so it went ALLLL over him. I kept apologizing. He didn’t care of course. He told me I shouldn’t give head when I’m drunk because I gag. I was disappointed thinking it wasn’t good and of course he told me I was perfect he just doesn’t want me in any type of pain.

He kissed and hugged me and told me he’d call me tomorrow and that he was getting locked in a store tonight so he wouldn’t be able to call. I don’t really remember our conversation but it got to where I got sappy. I kept saying how much I love him. He told me he always wants to protect me. And then I brought up I hate not being able to get ahold of him. He says he calls me all the time and I was so thankful for that and told him he has treated me amazing and I love him for keeping up with me making me smile every chance he gets. I kept saying that sometimes I need him. I need to talk to him when I need him. I need to get ahold of him. And that I know he hates cellphones. He told me he will have this discussion with me after we were both sober tomorrow. And that he wants me to be careful.

I almost feel like I’m clingy and obsessive. I feel like a shitty girlfriend. Which by the way he was referring to me as his girlfriend all night. And when someone asked me who my man was he would say I am. I feel like I’m not showing him any appreciation and that he will soon get tired of me or think I’m a greedy bitch who keeps taking and taking from him. I’m even pushy about sex. I don’t care if he says no I pull his dick out and do whatever I want. I just feel like I’m not enough for him. Like I’m somehow hurting him or hurting his life. Or taking too much sleep from him.

I don’t know. It started to storm. It was so beautiful. I love him. I am literally at loss for words. I feel so high off of him right now higher than ever. I feel like if he went away or if I lost him my whole world will collapse. And be over. I really don’t think I could ever recover from Scotty. And I hope hope hope this man is really happy with me. Because that’s all I want him to be.

I just wish I could give him the world. Give him all of his happiness. I wish I could just erase rikki erase his pain. Erase his work. Give him a lifetime vacation.

I think I’m falling even deeper in love with him. When I thought there was no way love could go this far.

I am completely crazy.

I love you all and I am reading entries now.

-L