107. who run the world?

girls.

i just got out of the shower.. and just got home from seeing scotty all morning. i took him to the doctor to get him his pills he sells. nasty shits. in case anyone was wondering i HATE pills. all of them. i have my reasons.

but he doesnt take them he sells them.. and that money goes to our hotel & festivities tonight. =D a good couple hundred dollars extra to blow. loveeeee him. we waited over an hour in the car waiting for him to be seen. he was holding my hand squeezing my thigh. we proceeded to talk shit back and forth to each other. i told him i wasnt sucking him at all and that it was my day and night. his response? “yeah you always say that until you see him then you can’t help yourself.”

well ill try. but hes probably right.

my birthday is in one month and 5 days. i asked him what he was getting me. he always plays with my best friend necklaces hanging on my rearview mirror. he said i have over a month and then he asked what i wanted. he was touching the necklaces again. ive brought up before to him that i wanted something to wear on me everyday that reminds me of him.

im hoping its a necklace. he knows i love stars. and music notes. im so easy to buy for! hes never really bought me anything fancy shmancy besides the ring ive been wanting for like 2 months working at the pub and we were both drunk when he bought it for me.

and my other birthdays he celebrated.. we met in august so it just passed my 19th birthday.. my 20th birthday he took me to a hotel room got me wasted.. took me shopping and i could pick out anything i wanted.. but i didnt. because i was nervous about spending his money. the hotel was a jacuzzi suite. he banged my brains out in that thing. my 21st birthday last year he called me at 1130.. gave me money for alcohol to make my first legal purchase at the liquor store.. on my way to get it.. i was backing out of the complex.. and he ran up to my window forced me to put it in park and pulled me out of the car really fast. wtf? “happy 21st birthday baby.. its midnight” so sweet. after that i wanted him in my room. so he agreed because i could do whatever i want. and he went down on me until i came in my bed. soooooo sexy. he never does that. i begged him to nut inside me that night because it was my birthday and i didnt care if i got pregnant.. (Which i obviously do care now) he wouldnt.. he never had before and he kept telling me im too young and he wanted me to live my life.

a few months after that though he came inside me for a while.. because i begged him to all the time. but i scared myself shitless one time so badly that i literally believed i was. he freaked a little too.. kept asking me questions and checking on me. believe me the times he asked me if i was i wanted to tell him yes so bad just to see his reaction. but i couldnt because he probably wouldnt forgive me if i lied about that.

i know that isnt happening this birthday or anytime soon im not going to ask him too.. ill give him that much. because i really DONT want to be pregnant right now. it just kind of makes me feel left out everyone around me has kids.. and im babysitting so much.. i just want my own.. one day. and since i am so infatuated with this man id want my own with him.

but enough talk about that because its not going to happen anytime soon. i figure we are going to cedar point for my birthday. hes promised me cedar point for a while. but he for sure said this year. =]

he makes me so happy. i just dropped him off at three and even though im going to be with him all night still i miss him. his hands.. im craving him. i just want his shirt off right now.

ahhh im gonna go nuts tonight. so a fair warning to you all.. next entry will be TMI detailed all over it.. TMI detailed will probably be the title ;]

catch you all on the flipside.

i really need to catch up on all of your diaries.. make note for tomorrow to do.

i love you all!

-L