Titty bears and balls.

My boss called me last night, frantic. Needed another player for the co-ed charity softball game this morning. Said he’d pay me $100 to take the morning off and come play.

I would have done it for free. Cha-ching, you sucka.

I haven’t worn those cleats since freshman year in high school. In which I only played because:
a) it infuriated my mother and
b) I may or may not have had a slight jones for the coach. Plus, he was my math teacher (a subject I despise) and I heard he gave all his players a decent grade so they could play on the team. Damn straight, that’s how I passed.

I quit after freshman year to focus more on art. And weed. Well played, self.

Went to Seattle for a wedding with Stu this past weekend. He said he couldn’t take one of his many lovers because it was a 2 day deal and he has a 12 hour limit with women he sleeps with.

/rolls eyes.

I actually enjoyed myself though. I’m not a big drinker. But I do enjoy watching drinkers. And wedding drinkers are the best. Nothing says comedy like a desperate bride’s maid.

Weddings are overrated however. I never understood how people could spend thousands of dollars for a one day event. An event that statistically speaking, 50% of couples will later resent in life.

Not I, friend. I’d rather take my not so hard earned thousands of dollars and invest in infomercial products.  Titty bear anyone?