This is not the entry you were looking for…

*waves hand* Move along.

I had a private entry about my mom’s birthday. However, I deleted it because I looked at the picture I posted with it and it set me off. I feel orphaned. I hate that she pops pills like they are Pez and spreads her legs for anyone who will give her a fix. I realize she’s still the woman who brought me into this world. But the picture I posted doesn’t match the woman i know. It’s like a picture is a lie. And it’s sneering at me.

I’m feeling angsty. My hormones start to lead me down memory lane until my brain starts screaming, "Abort, Abort!"

 

 

 

In other news, I wish I were a Jedi. Or a wizard.

 

 

That is all.

 

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March 6, 2012

Bummer.

March 6, 2012

i have some memories like that … abort abort.

March 6, 2012

I know that one. X

March 6, 2012

r: FedEx is delivering my tickets for the July 5th show tomorrow. MAIDEN TICKETS!! It’s like getting those golden tickets from Willy Wonka, only better 😉

March 6, 2012

I admit I seen that entry on the frontpage for the half a second it was public and was going to note until you made it private.. Your mom did look pretty. .. But looks can change and things don’t always stay the same.. Wish I was a jedi too :^/

March 6, 2012
March 6, 2012

It totally sucks. I don’t think there’s much more that can be said, except I sympathize, and wish things weren’t the way they are. xxxxxxxx

March 6, 2012

I’m sorry you have such sad feelings. When you first started this blog, you were here because of some court appointed therapy…because you beat the crap out of someone. Can you still talk with the therapist? Here, I am giving your weed back. If I could I would even smoke it with you ONCE so you could see me get high. Take care.

I’m sorry that your mother is like that–and in front of you. It’s sad, that moment we realize our parents are people too, and worse when they are people that we didn’t think they were ~Anna

March 7, 2012

Yeah, I hear you with this one. My mother is a complete asshole and most days if she were on fire I wouldn’t piss on her to put her out. But sometimes, my hormones mess me up and lead me down memory lane. I usually get about halfway down the yellow brick road when I stumble upon something that reminds me why I put about 8 states and about 3 phone number changes between us.

March 7, 2012

I wish I was a little bit taller. I wish I was a baller. And also, I know exactly what you mean. Both my parents are estranged, and I have a feeling they’ve both sunken into alcoholism. I see the pictures of my childhood and it feels like I’m looking at someone else’s family. Or an alternate dimension where people aren’t shitty, and moms don’t leave, and dads don’t try to make their kids run drugs across the border. Fuck that dimension. I don’t want to see it.

March 9, 2012

I’m beginning to think I will never find these droids I’ve been looking for. Some people are just not good parents. It’s totally unfair, especially because the effects are so long-lasting. It sounds like your dad was super awesome though, and I’m glad you got to experience having at least one amazing parent in your life. Take care, lady!

March 12, 2012

i, too, wish i were a jedi. or a pirate. or a combination of the two. my mom has issues with drugs/sex. it can be rough, especially when you catch them at a pretty moment. I think I have ONE pic of my mom not all messed up and i keep it cause,well, thats what i WANT her to be.