Never go ass to mouth.

"What are you writing over there, your memoirs?’"
"I’m battling this jackass on his blog’s message boards."
"About what?"
"About how he’s got too much free time and no life. A guy in a wheelchair who’s always preying on other people’s sympathies, writing these long diatribes about how he’ll never walk again, and how walkers should appreciate the blessings of their functioning legs, so I’ve been getting into it with him, throwing it right back in his stupid crippie-boy face about how I love to just sit around, and how I’d rather drive to the end of the block than walk!"
"The guy’s in a wheelchair!"
"Yeah. That’s why I called him "crippie-boy."

 
Oh, Clerks II. How you brighten my day.

Reagan is coming up Friday morning, then we’re riding over to see my dad. He found out around Christmas time that he has colon cancer. He’s opted not to do any treatments. He just wants to sit in his beach house and smoke pot. Can’t say I blame the guy.

Reagan wanted to visit him now before she starts her new job at the law firm in August. My dad basically adopted Reagan since her real dad is a fucking prick.

She was raised next door to me in this overly strict religious home. I think they were Baptist or something. Her mother was a creepy cliche Stepford wife and her father was a closet drunk who like to beat his wife and then use the Bible as validation for it. I remember sleeping over at her house one night and we overheard her parents arguing downstairs. I made her get out of bed and creep down the stairs with me. Her father was drunk and ranting some Bible verses, all while beating her mom with his belt.

She never asked me to stay the night again, and I vowed to never read the Bible.

We’re complete opposites, but it works for us. I met her at the bus stop; I was 8, she was 10. She complimented my Cure t-shirt. Instant friendship, despite our age differences. I’m pretty sure the only rebellious act Reagan did growing up was befriending me. But she’s never back down after all these years.

God, this entry just got serious. What a fucking downer.