Doing a lot of thinking

So at work we had a student who is in first grade who needs a para til they transfer him to the ED program. ED stands for emotional disorders. He stabbed another student with scissors and the other day he stomped on one of the paras that is with him foot. Well anyway since they needed someone with him all of us got our schedules messed up so they put me with a kindergartner who has autism. The problem with that is I was not trained to work with him and then I don’t know what his schedule is or what exactly he’s allowed or not allowed to do and I don’t want to mess up all the work others have done. Also last week he had some kind of illness because his nose was dripping snot and he had a bad cough so I didn’t want to be too close besides the fact that he shouldn’t have been at school if he was sick but now COVID symptoms are different I guess in our area. He kept trying to touch me and I was like keep your hands to yourself. I have to take my lanyard off when I’m with him because it has different pins on it and he likes to touch them. So I put a application in for a library para position somewhere else because I’m just done dealing with all of the nonsense. My title is for a self contained class but I’m being used as a building para and I don’t like that. I’m just done with this school. I need something new. My heart is torn because I love all my kiddos but I can’t keep doing this. Yesterday I had a stress test done. Thankfully they didn’t make me run on the treadmill but it looks like the test was ok but I will find out for sure on the 8th. I’m still losing weight which I’m happy about. I started at 365 and as of today I’m at 344 so that is great. My brother was put in a developmental center 2 hours away and is not in jail anymore so we will see how it goes. So far so good but he’s only been there for 2weeks on Friday. We are hoping to go down and visit him next Saturday. Also another reason I’m ready to move on is I feel like since I came back from COVID issues the usual people that talk to me don’t anymore. The lady that used to ride with me completely stopped riding with me which I understand but she doesn’t really talk to me anymore. I’ve texted her and she hasn’t replied. I just feel very alone and I just keep to myself. This is my IV which took 2 times of being poked and a ultrasound to place and they taped it to my arm hair. It hurt very bad taking  it off.