back at it

My summer wasn’t too bad. Broke as usual even when I was working a good portion of it. So maybe July I started checking into school related things and I happened to check the master schedule for my school. I come to find out I’m not with the wonderful teacher I was with last year. I’m put with a new teacher again. This made my anxiety go through the roof. I emailed the principal and just asked why I was switched to a different teacher. His response was I was the one with the most experience which is bullshit because the other 2 paras are older than me and both have way more experience. I’ve only been a para for 10 years they have been for much,much more than me. It just made me very nervous considering that’s what happened with the horrible teacher who treated me like garbage. So I had found out that the new teacher I was going to be put with was young, this was only her 2nd year teaching, and that she was nice. Well I hate to say this that’s how the bad teacher started out. Since she was younger than me she thought she knew everything and didn’t need my help and it was that teacher’s 2nd or 3rd year teaching and she started out nice but because of rumors that were spread she assumed what they had told her and it caused drama and now I’m starting to think that the teacher I used to work with at my previous school for 2 years was possibly a big part of that drama and then she pretended to be so concerned for me and wanted to help but was probably telling her “friend” what I was saying about her. Anyway the school year started on August 28th. The first thing I noticed was that she is not good with classroom management literally the first day the kids kept getting out of their seats without permission and just wandering around the room and I was the only one really trying to enforce that they stay in their seats and raise their hands if they needed to get out of their seats or anything else. When the kids would line up for me they did a excellent job but not so much for her. I mean there was still a few that don’t listen to me to this day but I’m finding strategies to help out and I’m not too proud of it but if I have to I will use the “do you want me to call so and so. It’s been helping even though technically I’m not even allowed to call parents. Sometimes you gotta bluff. So we have 13 kids in our class. There is literally only 2 that behave. We have one friend that has downs and only speaks spanish while me and the teacher speak no english so I’m very frustrated with the fact they even put this student in our class for the simple fact how are we supposed to teach them if they only know a certain language. It makes it extremely difficult. Then we have 2 students that came from a ED program which is emotional disorder. The second day of school one of those students was upset because we had goofed on our special and so we had to do that special again and none of our students really like this special so this particular student was refusing to even go into the special so the teacher had taken them back to the room and then the teacher had told them that they couldn’t do anything fun and the student threatened to break the teacher’s laptop and then attempted to do it so the teacher took them to the principal who was going to send them back to class when they had calmed down BUT instead the student struck the principal multiple times and was sent home. They were allowed to come back the next day and was given a second chance. This particular student likes rock music and says inappropriate things like the teacher “pookie” Today they made a sexual gesture at the teacher which she was uncomfortable with and he even drew a picture of her with boobs and only boobs. Then there’s another student that was from the same program and they immediately come in the room and when they don’t get their way yell “this is boring”, “i want to go home” repeatedly and add some banging on things to that. We were told to just let this student who brings their own blanket from home and stuffed animals they aren’t supposed and let them take a nap which doesn’t do anything and they terrorize everyone. They are very disrespectful. I ask the students nicely to do things and it’s always NO or some other rude answer. Then we have a friend that refuses to do work and I’m assuming wherever they came from they just let this student play all day because they constantly ask for blocks or markers and when we tell them they have to work first and then can get their choice they throw a MASSIVE tantrum which includes tipping desks, screaming,crying, hitting, pulling hair, leaving the room and I think a big part of why they kept leaving the room today was because they were given a break but wanted to go take another one and figured out if they left the room they would get to do that. There’s also one that I had a previous year who was very rude to me. They have gotten somewhat better since being medicated but still has some challenging days. They like to argue, they steal, they are sneaky. Me and the teacher were flicked off by this student yesterday at dismissal. You also can’t understand most of what this student says.  Then there’s a student who doesn’t like to do work. They throw things and then when we have to take them away because they throw things they act like they didn’t do anything and make comments like “I hate you”, “you’re mean” They have a real hard time following directions which drives me crazy.  Then there’s our most challenging one. They have slowly been escalating in their behaviors and we aren’t sure why. There are 3 of our students who do instigate things with this student but this student isn’t completely innocent either. They have said things to the other 3 as well. This student is also OVERLY dramatic like you could gently touch their hand and they will act like you broke it. Today I was slapped, had a shoe thrown at me by this student. The teacher was punched and spit on. Our room is just pure chaos from the arrival to dismissal and I honestly am not sure I can take it. They have a para that works at a alternative school that is coming to our school to see how we do things because they are doing a partnership with our district to make a elementary level of their school. Right now they have middle and high school students who were expelled from our district and other surrounding districts. She had shown me an opening for a para at her school. She told me they get paid 29/hr which where I’m at and have worked at for 10 years I’m only at 16 and change. The students are not allowed to hit or injure any staff paras included. There is a police officer there. There is metal detectors, the students have to use clear bookbags and their belongings are searched before they can enter. Staff goes everywhere with them. Like I applied today because I can’t take being hit every day because I’m either going to lose my cool and do something to get myself in big trouble or be done and just quit. It’s not ok that any staff is allowed to be assaulted by a little kid. This student is very lucky they aren’t old enough to have charges filed against them because if they were I would be. In our state you have to be 10 and this student is probably only 8 or 9. So yea that’s my update about school. My regular life is just as crappy. My husband doesn’t want to be intimate with me. He claims it’s because of my son’s friend that is living with us but I truly think he’s not attracted to me anymore and just doesn’t want to say it. My son is living with his friends. We get to see him occasionally. I just feel like I’m living a boring existence that just sucks. I really don’t have any friends who want to do anything with me. I just stay to myself.