..sometimes..

Sometimes, I just want to die, so that people who ‘care’ about me..dont have to feel bad about not being able to help me.

I feel like people get angry at me when im not feeling bad because they cant do anything. But I feel even worse when its like that.

I really do try to feel good. So many little things bring me down though. ANd I cant help that.

I went driving last nite. I just had to get away from everything. I like driving. I just thought about a whole bunch of things.

I dont get to go home this weekend like I was suppose to. I went home last weekend to drop my car off and was suppose to pick it up this weekend. But some things happened.

well my niece has been in the hospital all week with an ear infection ..(she was 2 months premature)..and its still just as bad, and now her emmune system(sp)is really low, and they are transferring her either by helicoptor or ambulance to a special childrens hospital.

Thats the short version of whats going on there. And Im here, nothing I can do. I know if I was there, there would be nothing I could do to help her. But eh, well yea. hehe. I just hope she is better soon.

*sigh* I would like to write a lot of things. But Im not going to. Im going to go write in my journal instead.

I just cant wait until I dont have to feel this way anymore. Until no one has to worry about the way that Im feeling.

Because sooner or later it will just push everyone away.