Here I am.

I dont know why I do some things. I read things that I know are going to hurt me. If not hurt me I know that they are going to make me question everything around me. But whatever, doesnt matter.

I haven’t written in a while. I haven’t had much to say. I don’t like writing here anymore, I don’t like people reading about me or knowing about me.

I know I’m crazy. I don’t know. Sometimes I still feel the need to write in this diary so I do.

Things have been going pretty well. I have had a few off days, but whatever, who hasn’t had those days. I really need to find a new job soon. I cannot stand my job and it puts me in a bad mood everyday. no matter how I started the day out.

School is very ickie. I had a test the other day and I don’t think I did well on it at all. I hope I did though. Because I want a good grade in the class.

I went home for easter. Talk about another weekened from hell. I hate going there, but at the same time I like it and I want to go there. Its that, when I get there, I remember why it was I left in the first plave. I spent, friday, saturday, sunday, and monday morning there. That was a very hard thing to do, I was ready to leave saturday afternoon. Im such a great daughter and sister 😡 Thats okay though, because no one there likes me, well okay some of them do. But yea, If I ever had to move back there, Id defenately because my severely depressed self again, and that would not be good. I was so depressed saturday and sunday, until monday when I left, how sad is that? I cried the entire weekend it felt like. Thats not right.

I miss my boyfriend. I guess thats normal seeing how we live in different states. But we havent talked since Sunday. yea, its only wednesday, doesnt matter. He is moving here though, in august. I can’t wait. I hope that everything works out well, I have faith it will.

Yea, so I got to see my nephews and niece this weekend. It wasnt too bad being around them. I was just easily irritated because I had very bad cramps. Gurl stuff sucks. But they were really cute this weekend (my nephews and niece). We played outside, colored eggs, went shopping. Nathan, my niece and I went to target, and when we were going to get in the car I was begging my nephew to just go and get in on the other side, because it was hot and I had to put my niece in her carseat, but he just stood there and said “no, terri this isnt the car” and I was liked, jesus nathan it is the car go and get in on the other side. And finally he persuaded me, that it really wasnt the car. Heheh he is smarter than I am, it was the same exact car, same exact spot, only an aisle over. hehehe. oopes. made myself laugh hard.

I got to hang out with my friend amanda, it wasn’t TOO bad. She is soo superficial though. Larissa is a bitch, but yet I know, it will only take me a couple more times of going back there and calling her to hang out with her again. She’s been my friend for 8 years, Im mad yea, but theres no way Im throwing that friendship away. That would just be dumb.

I got to go to church on Sunday too. I really like the service it was really nice. Theres not much more I can say about it. heh.

Ive been so tired lately. That tired I used to feel when I was really depressed. On monday night I went to bed at 9:30 and last night I got in bed at 9 and went to sleep at 10:15. Thats early..and I slept the entire night. Though, on monday night I had some very ickie dreams that kept me up for a while. I hate disturbing dreams.

Yea, well, my car once again is kicking my ass. It wouldn’t stay running yesterday so I called my sister and she called her husband and he said it is the carberator(sp?) and it needs a new one. He also said that I can’t drive it back until I get a new one. So one of these weekends, him and my brother are coming down here to replace mine. 400 fuckin dollars. I owe too many people money.

Im not in the greatest mood right now. Im quite sad, if you can call it that. I dont know that its sad, its something I don’t feel like explaining. God, there are so many things I could write in here, if only, argh, nevermind.

But I think its time to shower, and eat some lunch, have to go to work soon. Ick.