fun fun fun

I am so lucky, everything always works out perfectly. hahha.

Yea, so I was suppose to go to chicago thursday to pick my nephew up and bring him back here to st louis for the weekend.

But when I was almost to my sisters house my car broke down.

Leaving me to walk 2 miles in the -5 (-25 wind chills) 15-25 mile and hour winds, in an open field type area to a pay phone.

Brrrrrrr it was very cold. Good thing I decided to bring my coat and blanket with me..it helped some.

But yea, so I had to stay there for the weekend and miss work on friday in order to get my car “fixed”.

Sad thing is it is still not fixed and its running worse..and I drove it back here to st louis last nite.

Yea, well I finally got to my sisters around like 12:30am on friday morning. It really sucked..after walking 2 miles I got picked up by a police officer.

ick.

So we went to bed around like 2am, and my nephew kicked me off the bed and told me I had to sleep on the floor 🙁

I woke up at 7am to call my boss. lucky me. And I had to spend the rest of the day there, (thats my sister I hate by the way), and that place is so depressing and boring and stuff.

I cleaned her house for her, and bathed and watched her children, while she sad around doing nothing.

Then I didnt want to spend another nite there, but my mom had pneumonia so we couldnt go there. My nephew and I ended up spending the nite at my other sisters.

On saturday morning I had to take Nathan to his grandmothers house. But first I had to bathe him and all the other crap. It brought back memories of when I used to have to do that every other weekend and during the weekday in the mornings.

When I dropped him off he ran in the house happy to show his grandmother what he had gotten (a power ranger lazer gun thing). And then he had me put it together..ran over gave me a kiss and told me Goodbye.

I almost cried when I was walking to the car. I just remember when I used to drop him off and He would screem and cry and beg me not to go, not to leave him there.

He always thought I was going to forget him there.

And it used to be that if he forgot his blankie in the car I would have to drive the 25 minutes back there before school or on the weekend whichever..and give it to him. This time, he handed it to me and told me he didnt need it..and asked me to take it back to his house.

I miss him. I miss taking care of him.

But then, if I was still there..I wouldnt want to be doing it.

He is getting so big, and so old. Sometimes I guess I still look at him as the little child I raised…but hes not. He’s changed a lot since I moved.

Once again on friday morning before we went to bed..he asked me why I had moved so far away from him. And he asked me if I didnt love him anymore, and if I didnt want to be around him.

He doesnt understand that not why I moved..but..he probably wont understand.

hes too young for that..

so many sad memories..so many things I remember him saying as he grew up that make me cry.

*sigh*