blah. wedding.

Im supposed to be getting married in 8 days, its suppose to be the happiest time ever, right?
whatever,
I dont even want to have a wedding anymore, I mean, I want to get married, I just dont want the wedding. No one does really. Its unfortunate that Ive already paid for everything.
My grandma, the one I am having the wedding in Pennsylvania for, had a stroke and she is in the hospital. Its probably all my fault. The wedding was probably just too stressful for her. Im so stupid.
She actually had the stroke 3 days ago but she didnt want to go to the hospital so she didnt tell anyone. Her arm was numb, she was having terrible headaches, and my grandpa said today she started to slure her speech so he took her to the ER.
And now my stupid fiance is out with my brother doing god knows what, and I need him to be at home with me, because this is all my fault. *cry*
I want my grandma to be okay.