Within his dreams he see’s the life he made

Helloi

I am going to work today
I am not sure if its a full days work, or what is going on, but its about the menus and getting the website for the new place up and running.
I am desperate to start work, and wish he would give me a time frame that I can have in my hands.
Needless to say I am still looking for work elsewhere.
I am just not feeling the french thing, and its not somehting that has ever interested me, its heavy and not the kind of food that I would even want to eat , so yeah.

Fucking some people need to look after their fucking children.  If you can’t or don’t want to, then don’t fucking breed!!!

Its not good to be un-enthusiastic before you even start.

Ike is in melbourne for work at the moment, just a training thing.
I am both jealous and missing him like crazy.
We really havene’t seen much of eachother in the past couple of months, with the moving and all that stuff.
I love Melbourne, and I wish I was there too.

Ike just mentioned that we should look at real estate in melb.  I am happy too, but he has to think about the reasons why we are back in NSW, ie, his mum, and his friends that he missed so much.

I love melb the most out of all the cities i have lived. It has the most soul.
The most culture.
All you New South welshmen will be hating me.

My oldest best friend that I had a falling out over about 5 years ago, when I first started dating Steve has just gotten in touch with me via Facebook.
I am so happy that she has, and we will see how it pans out.
We were best friends from 5 years old, to 29 years old.  We moved to Port Douglas together, and thenI met Steve and she could nt handle me being with anyone.  Even me going out with new friends sent her into a jealous rage.
It ended badly, and we didn’t speak again.
So, like I said. We will see how it pans

Vicki is away to yesterday and today too.  Its nice, but lonely too.
I have the pups, but it is nice to know that someone is around.

I am finding it hard to really open out to her, I am know that I am pretty closed up with everybody when I first get to know them, and I know that I will open up to her eventually.  I think so of the reason is that I have not really had a mother figure that has been in my life, my mother had more of a friend-friend relationship with me, rather than a mother-daughter ( which, by way doesn’t work)
And I have missed having a real mother figure, even now my mum would still rather be a friend than a mum, and sometimes you really just need a mother.

I miss my nana everyday.
She was my support and care & did nothing but love me in all I had done and the choices I made in my life.
She never told me that I shouldn’t do things, she never repremanded me over the weight I was.  Or the things that I had done.
She just supported me, right or wrong.
And man I miss her so so much..
I actually see alot of her in Ike.
She just would have loved him.
And him her too I am sure.  They would have gotten along like a house on fire.

Ike has been so patient with me, I am very aware of just how much I have changed since I have been with him.  And its thanks to his care and patience with me.
He is just so caring and so thoughtful, & thinks about me all the time.
Its completely different to every relationship that I have experienced.
Yeah.
He’s special.

I need a positive book.

Anywho..

Have to dash.
Got a job to go too.
And these kids are giving me the shits.

Toodle pip

~KIpper~