like I’m breaking

every morning i wake up with this heaviness in my heart that I just can’t shake.

I keep feeling like its a bad dream, I am with him, & everything is ok and I feel like reaching out my hand to hold his, and i remember that I can’t anymore. 
Or I say something to him, and his reply makes me feel like like his is just humoring me, or just trying to make it go away. 
like nothing is genuine.
I am sure that it is, he is trying, hes being very good too me but…
I am sure he would be happier if i would move on…

I miss him so so much, I can’ stand to look into his eyes,
because I think he is beautiful, and I am in love with this man.
But he doesn’t love me.

I feel angry and empty, and sad, and completely alone.

I don’t know how I can get through this.
I wish there was some hope.  I wish this could be saved.
I would give anything, do anything for this to be saved.
 
I have never loved anyone like this, I have never felt like I have met my match.
He will never find anyone like me again…
No, he will just find better.

I want this hurt to go away.  
I want to get through the day without crying, without feeling my heart breaking.

I wish he felt love for me.
I wish he could see how much I have changed, what an effort it was for me to change, and how much I put into making this relationship so much different…
I never wanted to be with anyone else.

Still feeling this way…
how much longer?