new life
Half an hour past midnight and I do not even have an opening sentence for my personal statement.
I quit my job.
I went to jail.
I started singing in a band.
I moved back home.
I found a demon hiding inside me.. I tried to befriend it but then he started molesting me so I decided our friendship wasn’t healthy and I am in the process of kicking him out.
I started school again 🙂 I am completly broke. I made 6 dollars sewing a button back onto a shirt. $1.75 went on a tall can of beer for tonight and the rest will go towards 2 gallons of gas. I haven’t even purchased all my books yet. I do not even have a parking permit yet. The stress is making me uncontrollaby restless, this must end by this weekend. It is looking as though I will be staying at my parents just long enough to get back on my feet. I cannot exist under strict supervision. Why? Because it is my nature to rebel and run away.
Constantly looking over my left shoulder. The pain from many years past and a fear that feels fresh each time it enters my blood. The fear never got old. Fairytale endings are all that float in my skull on good days. Here at home, i have my unspoken plans of extreme vengeance. It is just not healthy for me in this house. I adopt such a negative persona. Then I regret my thoughts, my words.
24 years old now.
I will always be a baby compared to you Eddy. Isn’t it funny? You were my friend and I let you have it good! Not a day … not an hour will pass I bet that you are not with me. You the one that saw me come out of my shell. What a complete mess I was. A toxic one at that. I was so broken.
I hope this band helps. I will find the way to tell my story. The pain. The choke. The death.
I am alive now
more importantly I am in control and i have a paper to get to.
Wow. You did all of those things in one day?
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