late night call

i have a minty taste in my stomach
i am extra emotional these days
its that time of month
its about to be i should say

Its 10:30 pm and I get a phone call from a private number
I send it straight to voicemail
I get worried and keep looking at the phone to see if they leave a messege but nothing is shown
then
I feel sick to my stomach
I try to ignore it
am I really sick
or do i just want to get up and investigate this phone call
go back to sleep
trying to sleep i mean
no….
i feel sick
there is no denying it now
well then get up and make yourself some tea
it’ll calm my stomach and maybe let me sleep?
(which reminds me, let me go make another cup)
pause
…
I get up to make a cup and as I am waiting for the kettle to squeal I look at my phone again
there is a messege
hmmm
a woman, her name is B
I know her son Michael
(nothing is registering)
I fixed her computer
(oh…)
Mikes baby’s birthday party is tomorrow…..
She is sorry ,
she didnt mean to call so late
she is just a bit sad and needed someone to speak to
….
I forgot what else she said
I erased the messege without giving it a second thought
I let myself cry a good cry before I called her back

I had written to him 10 days ago, but i have not sent the letter i didnt know where
She will tell me tomorrow
he is sad, he does not want to be mentioned.
His girlfriend….I guess today was the second time he spoke to her since he was put in jail and she was everything BUT supportive
his mother set up the conversation, it was a 3 way conversation and she had to listen. 
It really brought down her spirits.
you know….
i never knew her name?  I think I ask mike for her name in the first letter 🙂
I love him so much 🙁
I miss him.  Days are sad sometimes I know.  I wish he was not going through this but he is.  I have been holding off but now I must find the strength and show my support. 
I hope she felt better after talking to me.
Grr.  I want to hate his girfriend for being so cold.  But I cannot, then how will I see the baby?  His baby 🙂  Her baby:)  She is so beautiful.
Everything will be fine.  It will, there is so much love around us, I just have to make sure he sees it….