What do you do after a Lie like this? Can I Trust?
”The ability to lie is a liability”
Well it’s that time of month and instead of being emotional and upset as normal I have been beyond pissy. However I feel my reasoning is very much warranted though I maybe over-reacting a little but even that I am not sure about. See I have a friend/teacher who kind of wears many hats in my life from mom, friend, teacher, coach. But what she did, to me was out of line for all of those roles. No one likes to be lied too and the roles she plays in my life would require trust and honesty.
See what happened is I confided in here about a situation….. Short story, I liked her son, her daughter was going to simply talk to him make sure he was ok and see where his head is at as many things are going on in their family. So I confide and tell her, she didn’t say anything against it just listened….. I asked that she not talk to anyone about it especially her daughter….. instead of saying something like well I don’t like that idea, you need to call it off or hell I can’t keep this to myself ……she told me should would keep it to herself (confidentiality) ok great that’s all there was too it…. only for me to find out from her daughter that she approached her on the subject she told me was safe with her. Please keep in mind all involved are adults…. I am 27 her daughter being older than I
So I gather the nerve to confront her on the issue and she justifies it throwing a dagger in the heart, as though her actions are correct and acceptable because of her later feelings towards the situation. I have a lot of trust issues as it is but come on. I know right from wrong. She should have spoken to me about it before she spoke to anyone about it, or hell at the worst right afterward so I wouldn’t find out from someone else. I just can’t believe she did that and is ok with it. She backs herself by telling me repeatedly that all things get back to her as if some kind of threat, and that everyone talks….. but the fact of the matter is there should be boundaries and that if someone asks for something to remain between them it should as others in the "family" have confided and asked me not to repeat. I can’t see how I am wrong in this. I look up to her and need to be able to fully trust her. I asked her to tell me this won’t happen again and her response is there should be no more secrets. Which I guess there won’t be. I will just have to be guarded and live within those walls. I will learn and grow within those limits but very upset about it. I have been hurt and while she would just tell me it was I allowing myself to be hurt but I believe I should have the right to confidence but I guess not. Hopefully these feelings are merely amplified by my monthly cycle but I don’t think so…… This really puts a damper on things and don’t know my feelings toward all this now and even more confused. What should I do? Or should I just suppress the issue? There has to be something to make this better, but what is that something?