police … funny

" The dangerous thing about listening is that you don’t really know the effect it’s going to have. "

-Tori Amos

A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and hasthe following exchange:
Officer: May I see your driver’s license?

Driver: I don’t have one. I had it suspended when Igot my 5th DUI.

Officer: May I see the owner’s card for this vehicle?

Driver: It’s not my car. I stole it.Officer: The car is stolen?

Driver: That’s right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner’s card in the glove box when I wasputting my gun in there.

Officer: There’s a gun in the glove box?

Driver: Yes sir. That’s where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed herin the trunk.

Officer: There’s a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?

Driver: Yes, sir.

Hearing this, the officer immediately called his

captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and

the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:

Captain: Sir, can I see your license?

Driver: Sure. Here it is.It was valid.

Captain: Who’s car is this?

Driver: It’s mine, officer. Here’s the owner’s card.

The driver owned the car.

Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can

see if there’s a gun in it?

Driver: Yes, sir, but there’s no gun in it.

Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.

Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told

you said there’s a body in it.

Driver: No problem.Trunk is opened; no body.

Captain: I don’t understand it. The officer who

stopped you said you told him you didn’t have a

license, stole the car, had a gun in the glove box,

and that there was a dead body in the trunk.

Driver: Yeah, I’ll bet the liar told you I wasspeeding, too!