Lenny’s

Hello Everyone.

       Well we are in Ohio. We stopped so mom could visit with Lenny. It is strange because I slept in my old bed and my old bedroom. Which were not any kind of happy times that I was here. I remember where my dogs cage was and it was the bed that my dog and I slept in together. But thats all over now and so it’s all now just a memory. Mom was happy she got to see Amish people and the horse and buggys. They took us to an Amish resturant and mom also enjoyed that. I have been very quite and have stepped back so mom could enjoy herself. Lenny and Barb have been nice to me because they know I will pack mom up and leave. I haven’t threatened or anything. Lastnight Lenny tried to get me to consent to going on a truck ride with him so mom would go . I said no but then started thinking and well I have no right to deptrive mom because I don’t want to go. So I talked to Lenny and told him that I don’t want to go but as long as he has mom back by Monday night that if she wants to she can go and I will stay here and all I ask is that I have access to the computer. Well mom was shocked that I gave the ok. Because I have had  the  control over everything. But really I don’t need to control the situation mom should be able to do as she wants as well so that she can see that she can make her own choices without me or dad. Lenny asked her to go and mom looked at me and I told her it was up to her but she could go if she wanted. Mom declined and I took her separately and told her it really was all right , She thanked me for not controling the situation and giving her the choice but she didn’t want to go.Which was fine and I really wouldn’t had been upset if she had gone. Mom is watching a movie right now with Barb.

     The only thing I didn’t like is I had to lie for my mother. I had to call dad and tell him that we went up to the camp grounds and would have had to pay a bunch of money because another festival is going on. Dad wasn’t happy but he knows I didn’t want to come here and so it made it more believe able. I told him that Lenny got to see her for about 4 hours before he had to go to work which it was more like 16 hours . But all in all Dad would have gone after mom if I didn’t protect her and lie for her. She has done it so many times for me that I feel that even though I don’t want to be here,  that I could do something for her since she is always doing things for me. She had a good time. We are suppose to stop by on our way back again. Another thing I don’t care to do but it would mean something to mom and other than me not wanting to it won’t hurt me for everyone has been civil.

As for the drive well the car shook all the way. I had lenny check the air pressure and all tires were suppose to be at 35 pounds. One tire was at 10 lbs, another at 55 lbs, another at 35lbs and the last at 15 lbs. Lenny says that we should have blew and wrecked since we were up and down mountians and such. I am convinced we were carried on Angel wings. Upon getting in the car I asked for my guides, guardians and Angels to keep us safe, something I only do in my car. But felt the desire to do. I did it throughout the trip and thanked them for being there. Needless to say we arrived with no problems.

 Mom over came some of her fears. She drove as much as I did minus and few hours. She drove through a tunnel which is a major fear of hers along with construction which is another. She figured out roads and all in all it was a learning experience for her even though it sounds like something so simple. I am very proud of her. Lenny has been trying to get her to stay the week here with him but mom keeps telling him that it is mom and me time so to speak. I think this will be very good for her and I want it to be a positive experience for her so while she is discovering a new world she is also discovering a new sense of self. One that is strong and can do for her own. I have been conscience of my actions not to hold her hand and will contine doing so. Seeing mom as she is really is a beautiful thing. I wish you all could see how happy she is and even though most would not see her as growing I see it. Like a flower blooming and opening to see the world for the first time. One of many colors and just now realizing how beautiful it is and the world around is. She is so confined at home. Every move charted and tabs kept on her. I told her to turn her phone off so dad couldn’t keep tabs on her. I told dad her cell phone has no reception but that if he needed to he could call me … My number is not in his cell phone and it would take effort to call me which he won’t want to do. So mom is really free now. 🙂 And I guess that I to am learning to see her as a beautiful person. Anyways I will be writeing on paper at camp and will transfer it to online when I am able to. Love and Light

P.S Jen and Margie. I love you guys and I think I maybe seeing some of the things you have tried to tell me. Think of me while I am gone and I of you….. Till we meet again. You will be with me