Would you like to achieve New Balance?

I can’t sleep. It’s 4 AM. You’d think an hour is enough time to fall asleep. I’m eating the last apple breakfast bar. Mmmm. It’s like there’s a tasty apple-tasting treat in my mouth.

I was first thinking about visiting Aussieland. I think. Was that first? Let’s assume it was. I imagined asking somebody about how you use the phone. I have Jannnney’s phone number, but um. I’m assuming I don’t need to dial all the numbers. If I remember correctly, she didn’t chunk the numbers. So um. Yeah. I figure out how to dial. Janney sees me and she goes “OMGTIMMY.” I see her and go “OMGJANNEY.” I meet Jenne and proceed to ask how exactly I’m suppose to accent her name.

Again, I’m not sure if I thought of that first. I do know I pondered about this gay porn movie I downloaded today. I considered doing a Porn Review of it. Yeah. I thought out all the funny quips I’d say. Not now. I’d want to watch all two hours of it before reviewing it. *giggles*

I think the last thing I thought about was Spring Break. Oh. Now I remember the train of thought. I thought of the previous entry and all the things I have to do. I thought about crossing off each thing as I did them. Technically, I could cross off Motivation and Emotion. I’ve read all the stuff since the first exam, including the piece for tomorrow. Did you know that death makes you depressed? *laughs* Talk about overstating the obvious. An entire piece stating just that.

I thought of the things I have to do. Pages and chapters. I know me, I can down an entire book in a day, if I really want to. Hmm. I forget how fast I read Youth In Revolt last time, but it wasn’t that many days. I wonder if I could cram it into one day straight… That’s for another day. Metaphysics will be slow-going. But. I don’t need to read every single word. My best bet is to take notes as I go along, forgetting about the words and trying to understand the ideas. I hate when I get caught up on individual sentences. Besides, if I put it in my own words, I’ll remember it better.

I thought about seeing Cliff. And informing him that he has “Would you like to achieve New Balance” stuck in my head. God damn marketing ploy. I thought of the Van. Honestly, since the rear brakes become un-stuck, I think there shouldn’t be anything wrong with it. Well, relatively speaking. I imagined talking to whoever is working at Dave’s. Dave’s our mechanic at Country Tire. Always have a close relationship with your mechanic. I’ve actually never met him. I imagined just explaining the entire problem of why we want the rear brakes checked out. Also, my dad said we should get the gas guage looked at? *laughs* I’ve forgotten what it’s like to know how much gas there is in the tank. I have a constant paranoia of running out of gas, when I see the low fuel light. It used to go on at quarter. But now. Eyes glued to the trip odometer. I’ve run out of gas once before. I’M NOT RUNNING OUT AGAIN. Cliff still won’t let me forget that he helped me push the van on his birthday. And it still kills me that I rolled right into a gas station – that wasn’t open yet. Surrounded by gas stations, but it was the fourth one that was open. *shakes head*

Oh, something else about Aussieland. I pondered how little I’d need to bring with me. If I really needed to, I could go traveling with only a bookbag. (Well, ignoring season changes.) Obviously, I can’t go live somewhere with the clothes on my back and a suitcase. I’ve pondered being computerless for a few months. Lisa Electron is a big girl. (No way I’d chance shipping her overseas.) If I really wanted to, I could con a laptop out of my dad, but nah. It wouldn’t be my computer. Moreover, it would be best if I didn’t hide behind a computer. Just thrust myself out there and let it happen. *laughs*

There’s an information session this Thursday about studying abroad. Of all my options for getting help, I have not sought the academic people on Livingston. I’ve been up there once. It scared me. I remember the Dean I talked to. It was clear he didn’t really care. Then again, he probably saw a lot of people like that. One of those “I can’t help you unless you know what you want” things. I had my schedule already thought out, so.. I considered him useless.

My biggest fear is that my GPA is too low. Which is a motivator to get my ass in motion.

*looks outside* Wait a god damned minute, is that snow? *gets up and looks, blinking* …It was raining a few minutes ago.

Taking the advice of diariests here, I’m starting to agree with the notion that taking a year off would be a bad idea. Well, I considered it, at least give me that. And shot it down. Taking a year off, while I would grow in some respects, would ultimately leave me not wanting to go back to school. Well, maybe not, I could very well get bored at the end of the year. Or maybe I’d be bored, but still have no desire to go back. Ha ha. But, taking a year off is to run away from all of this. I’d lose focus for this semester. No, I can’t run again. I always run. Avoidant behavior. *laughs*

In an effort to stear clear of depressing or sad music, I’ve been listening to AC/DC. I listen to Metallica too much. AC/DC is very happy and perky music. Blues-y, too. The art of playing guitar has been lost in a culture that prefers to just crank up the volume. Sad.

Yeah. Head supposedly cleared, I should attempt to become unconscious and nakie to the world. Well, at least I’ve got the nakie half of that done already. *twirls finger* I love sleep in my mouth.