What I Do At Work, Part I

Status Report

Wearing

WinAmp is playing: Turnaround – Nirvana

Last ate: Leftover Blimpie ham, salami, and cheddar from last Wednesday. I mean, I ate it for lunch. I think it’s the mayo that makes it rock.

Last round of masturbation: Last night. Two last night, actually. The first one, I used Edmund prior to final approach. God damn, I forgot how good prostate stimulation feels. I’d say my sex drive is slowly returning.

Entry Start Time: 4:42 PM

Based on Esther’s “Senses”.

Ah, Friday. When I get two days of real sleep in a row, instead of one. Product of a three-day workweek. *smirks* Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, that is. I’ve gotten into the bad habit of alternating getting sleep and not getting sleep. *smiles* Bad Timmy. *wiggles his bum to be spanked* I have one week of work left before I leave for Minnesota. Aren’t familiar with my pilgrimages to St. Paul? My Grandma lives there. Oh, and Miami lives there. And Scanner. And Skunkie lives there, though I haven’t talked to her in many moons. It’s funny, when I tell people at Rutgers that I went to Minnesota for the summer, they assume I live there. So much for me being honest with people in an attempt to make conversation. Though, it DOES make conversation.

I’ve been rather evasive about who and what I exactly work for a reason. No, I will not disclose it. If you’re bright, you might figure it out. Regardless, I will share all the various things I do. Whenever I come in at 8 AM, I have no idea what I’ll be doing for the rest of the day. It’s nice. Variety. I work 8 AM – 3:30 PM, with a half hour lunch break at noon, a break at 9:15, and a break at 2:00. When I started, I answered to Mary. She basically runs the company, even though Denis is the President. Nice bosses, in my opinion. Denis is just an overall nice guy. Mary’s nice, though she does tend to talk a lot. She once held me up forty-five minutes before my lunch break. *laughs* Like I mind, I’m still eating my damn lunch. She’s like a Matt Faecher when it comes to conversation. (Guess you wouldn’t know who he is.) You can easily just smile and nod and she’ll keep going.

So yeah, when I started, I answered to Mary. I was an office bitch, so to speak. I believe my first talk was to chart some data. There’s some shit in excel that uses the standard deviation and average to plot Gaussian Curves. First one took a while. Once I saw how everything was linked together, it went faster. I’m so glad I can actually type with the numpad. I did three of these jobs, I believe. The first one, which was Art’s data. The second, which was Rich’s data. And a third which was data I took myself.

Ah yes, the ERC unit tests. A little PC board is hooked up to some shit. There’s a computer halfway across the room. Hit some buttons on the computer, reset the counter on the thingie above the oven, and fire something with a button that hangs from some wires. Wait the designated time. Record at time. Repeat again and again and again until you’re done. *laughs* Thankfully, I was only doing five units at Ambient, Hot, and Cold, at .. I forget the times, doesn’t matter. The ERC tests weren’t nearly as bad as the tests Mike was doing for a couple days. There’s these little black things with metal thingies shooting out. You stick it in a thing, hit a button, read a time. It goes REALLY fast. He had to do uhhh. I’d guess around 1000 of those? AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN. *laughs* The bane of his existance. Oh. Who’s Mike? A regular downstairs. Uhh. Piercings, longer hair than me, wears band shirts. He was wearing a Primus shirt when I first met him. I definitely started wearing my normal clothes after that.

I remember something I did downstairs before Mary sent me to work there every day. There are these little tiny gold cans, smaller than my pinkie, but not much smaller. What I did was take them, and put a little plastic thingie inside it. Well, there’s a tool to grab the plastic thingies and put them in. With the amount of sleep I get, it’s easy to space out. I see Mike doing that, most days. *smirks* It SEEMS like busywork, but they actually need those things. That’s mass production for you. I only did that for maybe an hour while the conference room was occupied. Yeah, the conference room, upstairs, was where I did my computer shit. When I was hired, Mary talked about them needing a program done for inventory. A week left, and not a peep about it. *smirks* I was so looking forward to having that on a resume.

I one random thing I did upstairs was make copies of a booklet. Well. What I’d have to do is print the pages out, put them in order, and bind them. Sounds easy, right? It ate all day. That sucker was upwards of 180 pages. (Just the number stuck in my mind.) There were five copies I was to make. Mary already tried using her color scanner (because there were color pages), however, they came out looking like poo. I made the mistake of queueing everything to the printer at once (Because I’m that kind of person), which caused everything to come out all out of any order. Oh, and it even made the computer run out of memory (but thankfully not crash). *laughs* “I crashed the boss’s computer!” I remember something I did that day. Rich needed me to screw some hex bolts into the bottom of some pots. Those little shits just didn’t want to go in. There was so little thread on them. Half the time, they’d go sideways, and if you screw it in while it’s sideways, it ends up stripping the screw. *mumbles about stripped screws* Thankfully, Lauren came to help me and effectively saved my ass. The booklet was separated into chapters, so she designated each chair around the conference room as a chapter. Smart thinking. Actually, now I know why I didn’t do it in order. Because the filenames (at least on the surface) gave no indication as to the order. Silly impatient me.