Waking up relaxed.

I slept so beautifully last night. I’ve reduced my melatonin dose to all of .12 mg. Mind you, the body only makes .33 mg naturally. This means I’m not as wonky when I GOTO bed, and I’m waking up a lot less like I’m coming out of a coma. And one tab will now last 8x as long. Ha ha. I rule.

I just laid in bed this morning for a while, waking up. I’d say it was around 7 AM when I became conscious. I stretched slightly and became aware of my morning erection. It was still dark out. I rested my head on my pillow, letting my mind wander. I didn’t get out of bed for a half hour, allowing my eyes to adjust to the gentle light coming in through my window. I was amused at the fact that I still had an erection. Man, I love morning wood.

Let’s see, was I going to write about something other than my morning wood?

My powerlecture last night was canceled because our prof had a personal emergency. I hope he’s okay. Profs are human, too, you know. Seems like he’s had a rough semester, despite not being the chairman on the department anymore.

Having introduced Loralei to my writings, she commented that she likes how I write. I have a way with words? As I say, writing is like breathing. It’s such a part of my life that I don’t even think about it anymore. I do remember a time when it did get out of balance, but that was a long time ago. I take pride in my ability to use complete sentences, and otherwise express my thoughts.

The other night, my dad asked me how I’m doing. And then, “Is there anything you want to tell me?”

I replied, “Is there anything you’re expecting that I need to tell you?” Or something like that. I was very confused. My dad is simply not a direct person at all, he’s full of shit. Whatever it is was on his mind, I’ll never know. As I concluded years ago, my dad is a strange fellow. Look at my schedule, it’s right next to mom’s computer. I’ve even marked when I see Cliff! Whatever.

Victoria commented to me yesterday that she hopes I see how special I am. The phrasing triggered something that I already know about myself. I’ve always been aware that I’m not like other guys. This first manifested itself in such a way that I felt I had to be perfect to every female, satisfy every female. After hitting rock bottom, I accepted that not everybody will like me. I just don’t feel the need to “prove” myself the way I used to. I know what I mean. Perhaps I have more self-esteem than I give myself credit for. I think I’m pretty awesome.

I believe Loralei and I have a loose agreement to get together Sunday night to movie and cuddle. Yay, cuddlez. She noted she doesn’t have that many movies. I have a few select movies I like to expose people to. MMM, EXPOSEMENT.

:: sniffs his boypits :: I smell like boy.

I should get a move on. Time is always against me. (Or so has been my catchline to myself lately.)