Trust in thyself, and thy will wilt be done.

When you care about somebody, tell that person. It’s so cliche, yet it’s cliche because it’s true. I’ve found myself being so affectionate in the past two months. It just feels good to articulate to the people I care about just how much I care about them. I smile at first because I care. I smile a second time because of how good I’ve made that person feel.

There doesn’t need to be a specific reason or grand event. I prefer to wait until a calm to dote upon my friends, rather than explode in the middle of an emotionally charged event. I mean. It’s as if expressing and articulating in a vacuum, free from other things, means that much more than when surrounded by other tangent or non-related things. Kind of the reason I hate Valentine’s Day. The fact that the purpose of the day is to express affection completely negates the virtue of any affection given on that day. Now affection at a time when it is not expected at all, now that is something special.

But, that’s me.

I smile a third time at knowing how many people I care about. It’s just so good to be me, and to appreciate being myself. We should pat ourselves on the back now and then, after all. I love being trusted. I love being that person people confide in. I’m not sure how I make people comfortable, but I’ve learned to simply trust that how I act will make people comfortable.

A genuine trust in oneself. I used to think that I couldn’t articulate myself verbally. Really, the problem was that I didn’t trust the words coming out of my own mouth! When you’re talking live, you don’t have the time to verify whether the words coming out of your mouth make any sense at all. You just have to trust that whatever you say will make sense to who you’re communicating with.

That’s kind of how it is when I slather my friends in affection. I’m not entirely sure how I sound or how I come off. Whether it’ll be enough to express how I feel. Whether it’s too much. Instead, I simply just trust in my ability to articulate. Just. Just go with it. Trusting in oneself is an awesome ability. Trusting in others is similar. When I GOTO friends for advice, I trust whatever they tell me will make sense. ..*smirks* I’ve been blessed to have met some smart diddleys in my lifetime. Without them, I wouldn’t be who I am now.

Love doesn’t need to be complex and distant. It doesn’t need to be a metaphor for something pretentious and dramatic. It’s neither a feeling nor something rational, yet both at the same time. Love is quite organic and real, if we let ourselves go. Just a little. In expressing love to somebody, you have to let your guard down. Let yourself be vulnerable. Affection without disclaimers or apologies.

The utter simplicity of its depth is why people miss the point. I guess we all want to be loved so badly that we have, at some point or another, tricked ourselves into believing what we want to believe, rather than what is real. Convince ourselves it’s grand and powerful, when really it’s quiet and subtle.

Pangs in my mind from when I didn’t listen to myself. Live and learn. If only today, I hear myself loud and clear. The purging and repressing of the past will be no more. There’s something very fulfilling about letting whatever your brain tells you come to life. A thought. A feeling. An image, an idea. Maybe I’ve been blessed with a good brain, but if I follow whatever it tells me, I can’t go wrong.

After all, we can hardly trust others we can’t trust ourselves.