Timmy Manifesto VIII

I’m a good person.

It’s such an obvious thing, yet something I don’t think of when I consider self-identity. As I recall, my need to be a good person was so strong, that it was very hard for me to reconcile doing anything that could possibly not be “good”. Part of my overhaul, as I recall, was accepting that I can’t be perfect. Sometimes we fuck up. And it’s okay.

Nonetheless, it tends to be my nature to be nice. To be friendly. And you’d think these are qualities that everybody should strive for, yet it’s quiet clear that not everybody would be disgusted with themselves if they did something mean or dishonest. I am a trustworthy and honest person. Or, at least, I strive to be. Nobody’s perfect.

What’s that phrase, my morality and conscience is based on whether I can look at myself in the mirror in the morning? Something like that.

I’m a good person, and it really bothers me that anyone could possibly think ill of me. In fact, it generally baffles me when people commit acts of meanery. It’s not something I can relate to. Sure, I can experience moments of anger or rage, but I never feel the need for revenge or to hold a grudge. I let things go. I’m easy-going. It’s not something I ever decided. It’s just the way I’ve always been.

Just some passing thoughts.

I seem more interested in what I should do, rather than what I should be, lately. I think I wrote that elsewhere, but it’s worth annotating again. Cliff suggested that, perhaps, shifting the focus from being to doing is the answer. It’s possible.